The following memorandum is from the manager of Bagel Mania Bakery.
Recently Bagel Mania replaced sugar with saccharin, a sugar substitute, throughout its bakeries in the Northeast areas of the USA. Contrary to initial expectations, this change did not have an adverse impact on our customer’s preferences. So far, only 10 percent of our customers have grumbled about this change suggesting that an average of 90 customers out 100 have no issues with the use of saccharin in our baked products. Since our customers have not voiced great concern about the use of saccharin instead of sugar, it is evident that we should implement this change in all the branches of Bagel Mania bakeries in rest of the country.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
In the mentioned memorandum, The manager of the Bagel Mania Bakery claims that they should replace sugar with saccharin, a sugar substitute, throughout its all the branches of Bagel Mania bakeries in rest of the country because they have replaced it in one of their bakeries in the Northeast areas of the USA. Stated in this way, the argument or the claim fails to highlight and answer several key important factors.
Firstly, the assumption made by the manager that this change did not have adverse impact on their customer's preferences is stands without any rigid and mathematical data which will prove the clai. In addition, he claims that only 10 percent customers have grumbled about this change but there might be a possibility that other customers also not in the favour of this change but did not reach out to the bakeries management as we are discussing this claim on the initial phase and there is no mention of time duration when this change is implemented and after how much time this claim is made.
Region of the branch at which this change implemented also plays an important role because, taste of the people varies as we travel and everyone's taste is different and region specific. For example, Tea is a very popular and most sold drink in the Asian countries as compared to the non-asian countries but it is not valid or reasonable to claim on this single claim that tea will be favoured in non-asian countries as well. Time duration of the year also contributes when this claim has been made because generally during the festive or during holidays numbers of customers are much greater in compare to other non-holiday season of the year and thus such claims should be made after overall analysis throughout the year by considering the variable customer numbers visiting the bakery. It is also not reasonal to make such claims without initiating any survey and solely depend on the few customers feedback, as there might be a possibility that others might have same opinion but have not grumbled about the change.
Therefore to conclude this claim, the claim made by manager is unwarranted and lacks reasoning as it is made without answering and considering the important factors such as number of customers, time duration at which this change has been implemented, region specific tastes of the customers. To agree with the managers claim, more rigid reasons, data and evidences are required.
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| 2023-07-31 | AmieeZhao | 66 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 408 350
No. of Characters: 1979 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.494 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.85 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.518 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 40.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.934 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.4 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.63 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 406, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'bakeries'' or 'bakery's'?
Suggestion: bakeries'; bakery's
...his change but did not reach out to the bakeries management as we are discussing this cl...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r how much time this claim is made. Region of the branch at which this chang...
^^
Line 5, column 208, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...and region specific. For example, Tea is a very popular and most sold drink in th...
^^
Line 5, column 660, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...holiday season of the year and thus such claims should be made after overall anal...
^^
Line 5, column 896, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'customers'' or 'customer's'?
Suggestion: customers'; customer's
...any survey and solely depend on the few customers feedback, as there might be a possibili...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...have not grumbled about the change. Therefore to conclude this claim, the cl...
^^
Line 7, column 3, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ve not grumbled about the change. Therefore to conclude this claim, the claim made ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, so, therefore, thus, well, for example, in addition, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2013.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 408.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93382352941 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56640821472 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.470588235294 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 632.7 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 40.0 22.8473053892 175% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 96.7268835433 57.8364921388 167% => OK
Chars per sentence: 201.3 119.503703932 168% => OK
Words per sentence: 40.8 23.324526521 175% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.1 5.70786347227 159% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0307305317926 0.218282227539 14% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0161258743867 0.0743258471296 22% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.00936093027312 0.0701772020484 13% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0232174033938 0.128457276422 18% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00765323418033 0.0628817314937 12% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.2 14.3799401198 154% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 30.88 48.3550499002 64% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.9 12.197005988 155% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.2 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.14 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 18.0 11.1389221557 162% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.9071856287 151% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.