The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe. A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the application, a group of developers state that a jazz club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. To support this conclusion they argue that
the proposed jazz club would have the local market all for itself since the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away. They state that over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz nightly', also several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe. Finally, to further emphasize the stance, they state a nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to$1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. However, three pieces of evidence need to be presented in order to evaluate this argument.
The first piece of evidence that needs to be presented is the number of tourists that attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last year. If the majority of people who attended the festival were tourists, then the conclusion drawn from the argument has no merit.
The second piece of evidence that needs to be presented is whether the people of Monroe would venture out of their homes specifically to listen to jazz or they would prefer to listen to jazz in the comforts of their homes. If they would not prefer to venture out of their homes specifically to listen to jazz, the argument will not hold any water
The third piece of evidence that needs to be presented is per capita income of Monroe. If the per capita income is low, then the developer's conclusion renders fallacious.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands is heavily flawed since it relies on several unwarranted assumptions. If the developers are able to present the three pieces of evidence stated above, then the argument can be evaluated
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 294 350
No. of Characters: 1428 1500
No. of Different Words: 138 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.141 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.857 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.586 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.291 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.677 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 165, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... support this conclusion they argue that the proposed jazz club would have the lo...
^^^
Line 8, column 130, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'developers'' or 'developer's'?
Suggestion: developers'; developer's
... the per capita income is low, then the developers conclusion renders fallacious. In co...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 227, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...bove, then the argument can be evaluated
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, however, if, second, so, then, third, well, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1463.0 2260.96107784 65% => OK
No of words: 293.0 441.139720559 66% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99317406143 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.13729897018 4.56307096286 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64680553954 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 139.0 204.123752495 68% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.474402730375 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 452.7 705.55239521 64% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.0816389084 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.916666667 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4166666667 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.58333333333 5.70786347227 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.277857707285 0.218282227539 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.116525558442 0.0743258471296 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.121427777884 0.0701772020484 173% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14794695419 0.128457276422 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.115611747649 0.0628817314937 184% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 98.500998004 58% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.