The following appeared in the City Council Proceedings section of the local newspaper in Smithville.
The city council of Smithville has recommended making changes to police procedures to improve the visibility of the police force. These changes include hiring more police officers, budgeting more funds for police overtime, and directing officers to patrol significantly more often on foot rather than from their patrol cars. These improvements in visibility would significantly lower the crime rate in Smithville and make its citizens feel safer.”
The author argued that a higher visibility of the police force in Smithville will significantly lower the crime rate. However, the author has mistakenly believed that a correlation exists between the visibility of the police force and the crime rate. In reality, police visibility might not be associated with the crime rate and reforms such as more police, more funds, and more patrols on foot might not lower the crime rate unless the author can prove that the presence of law enforcement lowers the crime rate.
The correlation between police visibility and crime rate is debatable. For example, suppose that the main form of crime in Smithville is cyber crime and the main concern of the people of Smithville is receiving scam phone calls or fraudulent mails. Increasing the police visibility in such a case would not lower the crime rate because criminals are not out on the streets. Therefore, the author must provide evidence demonstrating that a higher police visibility can reduce the crime rate to make his or her argument valid.
The author has also argued that hiring more police and providing more funds to them would increase the police visibility, thereby reduce the crime rate. However, by making this assertion, the author is assuming that more police and more funds can reduce crime. Although this statement sounds reasonable, it is not necessarily correct. If police corruption is prevalent in Smithville, then simply hiring more police or providing more funds to them would do little to resolve a high crime rate. Instead, the government should first focus on eradicating the perfidious officers who have betrayed their oath to serve and to protect the people of Smithville. Unless the police force of Smithville is free from entanglements with criminals, it cannot efficiently and effectively lower the crime rate and purge lawlessness from Smithville.
One of the changes that the city council of Smithville recommended was demanding police officers to patrol by foot instead of by car, and the author mentioned that this change can lower the crime rate because patroling by foot increases the police visibility. This argument is flawed because it assumes that having police patroling on foot would deter crime. However, if criminals have vehicles and police officers are only patroling on foot, police officers are probably more likely to lose criminals than to catch them, and criminals might commit more crime because they know that they are less likely to be caught. Requesting police officers to patrol on foot might not be the solution to a high crime rate.
In conclusion, the author stressed that changes such as recruiting more police, appropriating more funds to the police, and requiring patrols on foot would increase the police visibility, which in turn would lower the crime rate. However, other forms of crime, such as cyber crime, are not affected by police visibility. The author must provide sufficient evidence proving that a strong correlation exists between a high police visibility and a low crime rate to support his or her argument.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-05-26 | Mateo Chen | 58 | view |
| 2023-05-26 | Mateo Chen | 70 | view |
| 2022-08-27 | thelmascakess | 60 | view |
| 2021-11-21 | Lavanyal | 67 | view |
| 2021-07-06 | Sommy | 66 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 502 350
No. of Characters: 2529 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.733 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.038 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.566 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.163 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.451 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.451 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.242 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, so, then, therefore, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2583.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 502.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14541832669 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63711390954 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.384462151394 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 846.0 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.2367073697 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.15 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.1 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.1 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 18.0 6.88822355289 261% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.181883913021 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.080695583747 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0588978042177 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124355814914 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0282762984161 0.0628817314937 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.3550499002 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.