Movies and Televisions make more negative effects than positive effects on young people’s behavior
In my opinion,I agree that televisions and movies make more negative effects than positive effects on young people’s behavior. Although,televisions and Movies have some benefits,such as, providing source of knowledge and entertainments, considering about the effects on the behavior, especially on young people, the drawbacks are more than advantages. Televisions and movies can cause young people being addited, being attracted to commercial advertisings, and having passive activities.
First,televisions and movies can cause young people addicted. For example, when I was a kid, my mother had to work a lot, so she always left me watching Television with my sisters. I spent time in front of the television every day in the morning before went to school, after finished school, and also almost a whole day on the weeken. There were many interesting TV programs, so I kept watching them and I did not do my homework. I did not do anything because I enjoyed watching TV. I was addited to it.
Second,television can attract young people to the commercial advertisings. As my example when I was a kid that I was addicted to TV. There were a lot of commercial advertisings. Toys and junk foods were advertised the most. I liked to buy things and foods that I recognized from advertisings,especially sweet candies. I had a lot of toys that I played only few times, and I did not give them attention anymore because there were many new toys that lured me on the TV advertisings.
Finally, watching TV and movies do not encorage young people to have active behavior. When I was a kid and addicted to TV,I did not want to go out to do other active activities. I did not like to play any sport at the school after finished class. I did not help my mother cooking. I did not do homework. My body and my brain did not do any exercise. I only sit there in front of TV and received whatever information that the TV pushed to my perception.
For adult, TVs and movies might have some advantages than disadvantages and probably have less effects on their behavior. However, for young people,TVs and movies have more nagative effects than positive effects on the children’s behavior.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2019-10-05 | MiladHakimi | 90 | view |
2018-10-04 | salyn | 71 | view |
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Comments
Wow! very fast feedback.
Wow! very fast feedback. Thank you very much :)
Sentence: Televisions and movies can cause young people being addited, being attracted to commercial advertisings, and having passive activities.
Error: addited Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: I spent time in front of the television every day in the morning before went to school, after finished school, and also almost a whole day on the weeken.
Error: weeken Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: I was addited to it.
Error: addited Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Finally, watching TV and movies do not encorage young people to have active behavior.
Error: encorage Suggestion: encourage
Sentence: However, for young people,TVs and movies have more nagative effects than positive effects on the children's behavior.
Error: nagative Suggestion: negative
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.792 21.0
Need more compound or complex sentences.
Need more sentence varieties. For example: Don't always start a sentence by "I".
Put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 379 350
No. of Characters: 1747 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.412 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.609 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.73 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.792 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.869 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.381 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.569 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.224 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5