The following appeared in a memo from the owner of a chain of bicycle stores located throughout India.
For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both local and imported bicycle (pedal bikes).last years , however ,all of trh five best selling bicycle at our newest store were locally made , in Calcutta. Furthermore ,a recent survey by world new bikes magazine indicate an increasing preference for local bicycles among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expanses by limiting inventory ,the best way to improve profits in all of ore stores is to discount stocking many of our varieties of imported bicycle and concentrate primarily on bicycle made locally.
The owner of, the chain of bicycle conclude that, they can reduce the expanses by limiting the inventory and improve the profit by giving the discount on the imported bicycle and concentrate on the made bicycle locally. Owner fail to render the strong recommendation which not truly support the conclusion
As the owner stated that, for many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both local and imported bicycle. Owner got the good response for both type of bicycle from many years so that owner keeps both type bicycles in stores. As they have good experience of that both type of cycle demand is same. If not they store not stocked with a wide variety of both type of bicycle for many years. Wide word indicates that both types have demanded ample, but why the owner wants to reduce inventory to reduce the expense is not clear from this statement. This Recommendation is fail to support conclusion
Additionally, owner also provide the information that, last year all of five best selling bicycle at our newest store were locally made in Calcutta. The owner of, chain of bicycle open one more new branch of the bicycle in Calcutta in last year which indicate that, they have good demand of both type of bicycle as well as have good profit from both type bicycle. As author not providing any detail information about 5 selling bicycles were imported or local. If the given that selling bicycle were only the local then it support the conclusion. As it is not giving so, it create lots of space for doubts .
Moreover, recent survey the world New Bikes Magazine indicate an increase preference for local bicycle among its subscribers. Recent survey means how much it recent ,is it of two years back ,or is it one month’s back. This specific information about the time is not provide to study that when actually local bicycle were demanded to its subscribers. One more thing is that. Increase the preferences is true but how much it increases than the imported bicycle is not mention in the survey . if imported bicycle demand is 10 and the local bicycle is 11 then it you can't say that the local bicycle demand is increases more than the imported bicycle .
Since the no need to limit the inventory to reduce the expenses and also no need to discount on imported bicycle. because owner not providing any such recommendation which strongly said that imported bicycle demand is reduce . so all recommendation are weak ,not fully support the conclusion Require more strong recommendation to support the conclusion
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| 2013-03-02 | deepali123 | 55 | view |
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Sentence: The owner of, the chain of bicycle conclude that, they can reduce the expanses by limiting the inventory and improve the profit by giving the discount on the imported bicycle and concentrate on the made bicycle locally.
Description: The fragment bicycle conclude that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace conclude with verb, past tense
Sentence: Owner fail to render the strong recommendation which not truly support the conclusion.
Description: The fragment Owner fail to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace fail with verb, past tense
Sentence: This Recommendation is fail to support conclusion.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and fail
Sentence: The owner of, chain of bicycle open one more new branch of the bicycle in Calcutta in last year which indicate that, they have good demand of both type of bicycle as well as have good profit from both type bicycle.
Description: The fragment bicycle open one is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace open with verb, past tense
Sentence: If the given that selling bicycle were only the local then it support the conclusion.
Description: The fragment it support the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace support with verb, past tense
Sentence: As it is not giving so, it create lots of space for doubts .
Description: The fragment it create lots is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace create with verb, past tense
Sentence: Moreover, recent survey the world New Bikes Magazine indicate an increase preference for local bicycle among its subscribers.
Description: The fragment Magazine indicate an is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace indicate with verb, past tense
Sentence: Increase the preferences is true but how much it increases than the imported bicycle is not mention in the survey . if imported bicycle demand is 10 and the local bicycle is 11 then it you can't say that the local bicycle demand is increases more than the imported bicycle .
Description: An adverb is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, accusative
Suggestion: Refer to then and it
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and increases
Sentence: Since the no need to limit the inventory to reduce the expenses and also no need to discount on imported bicycle. because owner not providing any such recommendation which strongly said that imported bicycle demand is reduce . so all recommendation are weak ,not fully support the conclusion Require more strong recommendation to support the conclusion.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and reduce
Description: The fragment conclusion Require more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace Require with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 438 350
No. of Characters: 2063 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.575 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.71 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.451 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.181 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.542 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5