The Pleasantville School Board should take measures to increase the number of volunteers. Teachers, parents, and other community members agree that it is important for young people to learn the value of community service. Requiring high school students to engage in community service would provide much-needed assistance to worthy local charities and would also help young people understand the importance of giving back to their community. For this reason, the Pleasantville School Board should institute a program requiring students of Pleasantville High School to complete 40 hours of community service prior to graduation.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on the assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
At first glance the assumptions supported in this conjecture seems logical, but after looking thoughroughly we can see a text containing a lot of flaw in the support of those assumptions.
Firstly, the author isn't giving any details explaining the diminishing numbers of teenages volunteers engaging in charitable organizations. He is blaming the decrease by explaining that teenagers disregard the value of local community but he has no back up to support this idea. In order to make this explanation plausible, a survey showing that teenagers disregard the value of community would have been a good supporting fact. But without this fact, one might explain, for example, that the decrease is due to the fact that the High School in Pleasantville closed, increasing teenagers commuting time to another town therefore giving them no time to get involved in charitable organizations.
Secondly, the writer of the conjecture states that being involved in charitable organizations is contributing to learn the value of community; but no information are given on the type of charity. The details isn't pointing if those charities really participate to community. Besides the author wrote "worthy" local charities, what does he means by that? Giving a few example of the good those charity are doing to the local community would reinforced the author arguments.
Thirdly, the idea carried out by the author through this statement is very doctrinal; "requiring" can be more interpreted by imposing. So they are going to impose to teenagers to spend 40 hours of community service "prior to graduation". Prior to graduation is pretty vague, is it one month prior, one year prior? High School senior are probably in the middle of figuring out what they are going to do after High School and also studying for their finals prior graduation. The way the solution is presented is a bit scrapy, the author should have develop more in details the way those 40 hours would be done by teenagers.
To conclude, the author seems to have really strong ideas about the value of community and you can feel it through this document. But his ideas are not endorse by stron enough points.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2013-03-08 | Guillaume_8667 | 67 | view |
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Sentence: Giving a few example of the good those charity are doing to the local community would reinforced the author arguments.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, plural
Suggestion: Refer to good and those
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to would and reinforced
Sentence: High School senior are probably in the middle of figuring out what they are going to do after High School and also studying for their finals prior graduation.
Description: The fragment High School senior is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: The way the solution is presented is a bit scrapy, the author should have develop more in details the way those 40 hours would be done by teenagers.
Description: A verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to have and develop
Sentence: At first glance the assumptions supported in this conjecture seems logical, but after looking thoughroughly we can see a text containing a lot of flaw in the support of those assumptions.
Error: thoughroughly Suggestion: thoroughly
Sentence: The way the solution is presented is a bit scrapy, the author should have develop more in details the way those 40 hours would be done by teenagers.
Error: scrapy Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: But his ideas are not endorse by stron enough points.
Error: stron Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 359 350
No. of Characters: 1765 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.353 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.916 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.758 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.155 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.582 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5