Holidays honour people or events. If you could create a new holiday,what person or event would it honour and how would you want people to celebrate it? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Holidays and vacations are very crucial and vital part of our life. They help us realize what we truly are and how should we enjoy our life. Some would argue that its not a good idea to keep holidays in between an important event or we should not have a holiday for great leader of the world, because they might think that it is just sheer wastage of important time. Others might say that holidays honour great people and important events and they are very essential part of social life. The issue is a interesting one but a closer inspection reveals that there should be enough holidays in between a...
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2012-10-21 | ajejaljones | 97 | view |
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Sentence: Some would argue that its not a good idea to keep holidays in between an important event or we should not have a holiday for great leader of the world, because they might think that it is just sheer wastage of important time.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to its and not
Sentence: Ultimately, while there are arguments to made for both sides, it is clear from the aforementioned reasons there are greater advantages to have a holiday.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and made
flaws:
No. of Words: 529 350 (less words in real exams. write the essay in half an hour)
It is on top list:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/toefl
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 29 in 30
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 529 350
No. of Characters: 2429 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.796 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.592 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.543 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.346 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.251 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.423 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.256 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5