TOEFL integrated writing: Dutch painter Rembrandt

The article claims that there are doubts about who is the one who paints the portrait of an “Elderly Women in a White Bonnet” and provides three reasons to posits that it couldn’t be one of the famous painters “Rembrandt”. However, the professor explains that there are several experts that confirm that it is one of Rembrandt’s portraits and opposes each of the author’s reasons.

First, the reading states that there is no contrast between the cap and the fur collar of the coat which the woman in the portrait dressed. Conversely, the professor explains that by using x-rays, the found that this is not the original painting. They assume that someone add this fur collar to increase the portrait’s value.

Second, the author implies that there is problem in painting light and shadow and the face of the woman must not be illuminated. On the other hand, the professor says that this is not seen in the original painting as the women was wearing simple light clothes that reflect light so it appear in that realistic way.

Finally, the article asserts that using a panel contain several parts of wood stick together is not the way of Rembrandt portrait. In opposition, the professor counters this by explaining that Rembrandt use this to expand the portrait to be more valuable and grand. Also, they found that the wood panel of the main portrait is made by the same tree wood Rembrandt use.

That’s why the professor confirmed that this is one of Rembrandt’s portraits.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Sentence: On the other hand, the professor says that this is not seen in the original painting as the women was wearing simple light clothes that reflect light so it appear in that realistic way.
Description: The fragment as the women is not usually followed by was
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace was with were
Description: The fragment it appear in is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace appear with verb, past tense

Sentence: Finally, the article asserts that using a panel contain several parts of wood stick together is not the way of Rembrandt portrait.
Description: The fragment panel contain several is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace contain with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular

Sentence: In opposition, the professor counters this by explaining that Rembrandt use this to expand the portrait to be more valuable and grand.
Description: The fragment Rembrandt use this is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace use with verb, past tense

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 255 250
No. of Characters: 1190 1200
No. of Different Words: 126 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.996 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.667 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.335 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.122 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.401 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.703 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.064 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4