You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.
Shelter is the basic need for every person in this world. So house is very important to provide shelter. It is the place where most of the people spend their time happily. If I have enough money to purchase either a house or business I would like to buy a house rather than business mainly for two important reasons.
The main reason is that it will provide security for us. In order to live happily and protect ourselves from heat, cold and other environmental disasters we need to have happy and good home. For example, When I was studying in Visakhapatnam in Andhra Pradesh, I have seen many poor people sleeping on foot paths and under bus shelters they do not have home to live in. These people do not have security. One day there was a huge cyclone and many people died in that area because they do not have shelter to protect themselves from such kind of disasters. After, this incident government had constructed homes for this destitute people to live in and when the cyclone occurred there was no much effect on the people because they have homes to live in. As you can see, what are the effects if a person do not have house so house is very important.
Another reason is that it will improve our income status. If we have a good house with more number of rooms we can let off our rooms for rent and can earn good amount of money through rent and thus it will improve our income status. For instance, I have a house with three stored building and it is very huge for me and family to live in that such a large house. In addition it is situated in a good locality where the people have easy access to schools, colleges, hospitals etc. So, there is a great demand for rent houses in my area. So I have given my two store's for rent and I have earned a lot of money through rents. These rents are an addendum to our monthly salary. Moreover, If I have a house in good location I can sell my house for good amount of money and I can earn huge profit from that. So, having a house benefited me a lot than having a business. For instance, If I have a business I would have failed completely because, I do not have any knowledge on business and I would have lost most of my money if I have invested in business. So, through this experience I thought that having a house is better than having a business.
In sum, though some may oppose the plan, investing huge amount of money on house is better than business. It will not only provide security for the people but also it will improve our income status and provides huge amount of profit if we sell it. Every person should think the advantages of investing money on houses rather than business and should move forward.
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Comments
Thanks for your feed back. Is
Thanks for your feed back. Is there any mistakes in the structure and the examples I have provided. Can I follow the same structure in the exam? If I avoid duplicate words, how much I can expect for this essay. Please give me reply I have exam on next Sunday.
Try and follow this
Try and follow this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
You don't need a lot of examples in one reason. one example is enough.
Your essay level is around 24-25 if you can write essays properly.
flaws:
Duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 502 while No. of Different Words: 201
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 502 350
No. of Characters: 2128 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.733 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.239 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.203 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.416 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5