Ten years ago our company had two new office buildings constructed as regional headquarters for two regions. The buildings were erected by different construction companies—Alpha and Zeta. Although the two buildings had identical floor plans, the building constructed by Zeta cost 30 percent more to build. However, that building's expenses for maintenance last year were only half those of Alpha's. Furthermore, the energy consumption of the Zeta building has been lower than that of the Alpha building every year since its construction. Such data indicate that we should use Zeta rather than Alpha for our contemplated new building project, even though Alpha's bid promises lower construction costs.
The writer concludes that building construction should be more like zeta as compared to he alpha. However, the conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence.
Firstly, the writer assumes that zeta construction was 30% more than the alpha construction though they have identical floor plans doesn’t have the clear evidences because the land at which zeta company is been spreaded may be much more lesser than the land at which the alpha company has been spreaded. In fact, zeta construction was 30% more might be totally irrelevant to the construction of the building should be more of zeta as compared to the alpha because it depends upon the material used for the construction as well as number of daysit required to built the alpha as compared to zeta because the construction speed depends directly on the number of workers working for the construction. The argument that zeta construction was 30% more than the alpha construction though they have identical floor plans will be strengthened if the writer provided evidence type of material used number of square meter is been spread etc
In addition, the writer assumes that electric consuption is lower of the zeta as compared to the alpha. In fact, the writer does not mention the rate of the electricity at that locality since both the companies are been spread at different regions. The argument would have been strengthened considerably if the writer provided evidence that of the location or the rate of the electricity at that particular locality.
Finally, the writer assumes that mainatances of the zeta is comparitive lower than that of the alpha. The writer provides no evidence, though, to indicate that this is the case. As the argument stands it is highly possible that the size of alpha is larger as a result it required more number of people for cleaning and other purpose Only if the writer produces evidence that the total differences of the mainatces and differences in there mainatainaces does the argument hold good.
In conclusion, this argument depends on certain simplified assumptions about construction more of zeta as compared to alpha. The author could strengthen the argument by discussing other factors beyond electricity maintainances and cost construction
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2018-08-18 | ribhunirek | 41 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Firstly, the writer assumes that zeta construction was 30 more than the alpha construction though they have identical floor plans doesn't have the clear evidences because the land at which zeta company is been spreaded may be much more lesser than the land at which the alpha company has been spreaded.
Error: spreaded Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In addition, the writer assumes that electric consuption is lower of the zeta as compared to the alpha.
Error: consuption Suggestion: consumption
Sentence: Finally, the writer assumes that mainatances of the zeta is comparitive lower than that of the alpha.
Error: comparitive Suggestion: comparative
Error: mainatances Suggestion: maintained
Sentence: As the argument stands it is highly possible that the size of alpha is larger as a result it required more number of people for cleaning and other purpose Only if the writer produces evidence that the total differences of the mainatces and differences in there mainatainaces does the argument hold good.
Error: mainatces Suggestion: manages
Error: mainatainaces Suggestion: maintained
Sentence: The author could strengthen the argument by discussing other factors beyond electricity maintainances and cost construction
Error: maintainances Suggestion: No alternate word
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 371 350
No. of Characters: 1867 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.389 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.032 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.82 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.538 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.19 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.436 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.691 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.163 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 86, Rule ID: HE_THE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to the alpha'?
Suggestion: to the alpha
...on should be more like zeta as compared to he alpha. However, the conclusion relies on assu...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 238, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'lesser' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: lesser
...ta company is been spreaded may be much more lesser than the land at which the alpha compan...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 14, column 249, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...city maintainances and cost construction
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, then, well, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, as a result, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1926.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 370.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.20540540541 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8693539536 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.402702702703 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 591.3 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 109.084415579 57.8364921388 189% => OK
Chars per sentence: 160.5 119.503703932 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.8333333333 23.324526521 132% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.58333333333 5.70786347227 168% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.193654309268 0.218282227539 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.078694915427 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0597065084419 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110151841111 0.128457276422 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.055119461468 0.0628817314937 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.5 14.3799401198 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.03 48.3550499002 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.53 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 98.500998004 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.