Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?　　People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.　　Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by Dragut on Tue, 09/04/2018 - 09:50

Almost every day we watch on the TV that critics debate about whether people spend too much time on personal enjoyment. Many people may think differently rather than me but, I am of the view that they spend too much time for pleasure rather than doing things they should do. In this essay, I intend to discuss why I feel this way in the following essay.

First of all, if people get stressed, they seek something enjoyable to release their minds. At our age, people can easily get stressed, especially young ones. They may have dreams to make their life better but have to make extremely effort to reach them. The path of the success, unfortunately, is arduous and leads them to feel depressive. So, to get rid of these thoughts in their mind, they try to spend much time to have some fun. Let's take the students as an example. Most of them have dreams of studying at a high ranked university and having a prestigious profession but, they have to compete with millions of competitors. When they cannot realize their dreams, they feel hopeless about life and start to spend more time in virtual worlds such as social media platforms, watching movies or play computer games, in which they can feel as the main character instead of improving themselves to reach their dreams.

Secondly, with the developments of the technology, today's people have more enjoyable activities to have fun. These things can easily attract their attention and most of them lose their self-control against their desires. My situation is a compelling example of this. I want to be a pilot and am conscious of that I have to work hard to realize it. However, I get bored quickly and there are a lot of things in my surrounding, which causes me to lose my concentration, to relish such as social media apps, pc games, movies or outside activities. Whenever I get bored, I am inclined to spend time by doing one of them. They
seem more exciting and relieving to do than the things I should do.

To my way of thinking, most people spend their time by doing enjoyable things rather than what they should do. This is because they want to forget the painful truths about life and because there are different kinds of attractive things to have fun.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 436, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...ry to spend much time to have some fun. Lets take the students as an example. Most o...
^^^^
Line 5, column 622, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to spend time by doing one of them. They seem more exciting and relieving to do t...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, i feel, such as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1834.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 393.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.66666666667 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49274533513 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.498727735369 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 547.2 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.3717211219 48.9658058833 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.7 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.65 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.05 5.45110844103 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.35132647523 0.236089414692 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114458810914 0.076458572812 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.153194903008 0.0737576698707 208% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.277547928048 0.150856017488 184% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.123653069663 0.0645574589148 192% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.39 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.