Freindship is one of the indispensable part of our life. We need to communicate with others and make friends and be loved. While some believe maintaining few old friends are more important for having a happy life due to less misunderstanding and more reliability, others against it. In my opinion, although every old friend is like a precious gem that enrich our life , for having a happy life ,we need to make new friends in our life due to change in our situation in life, have more connection and better social comfort.
First of all, our life goes through different stages and we have to adapt with any changes in our life. For instance, when we grew up we went from high school to different university or college and then moved to other place for work . Some people have to change their city and even their country . We may be far from our close friends and not have them beside in time of need. Thus, making new friends is inevitable and necessary for us, unless we feel lonely and desperate in new place. In fact, new friends in our workplace or college give us opportunity to get use to new environment and feel comfortable. In other words, without them we feel isolated, helpless and disappointed. Eventhough, we need time to trust our new friends and there would be misunderstanding in between, we learn how to be more flexible and easy going. In addition, we live in the world of communication. Improving our social skills is very important for our satisfaction and success. Research study from Harvard university showed that people with greater and broader social connection live longer, healthier and with more happiness. Also, people with greater network of friends are more successful in their life and more satisfied. For instance, my friend sara is very successful in her career due to her ability to communicate well with people. She makes new friends in every situation and gets help from others in time of need and have access to a great network of people Therefore, making new friends make our life more pleasant.
Also, different friends have different point of views and they broaden our perspective. In other words, it is pleasant to learn how to see the things differently and from different scopes. Without friendship with variety of people, we grow very prejudiced and limited ,hence, we do not enjoy our life. For instance, when I went to college and lived in the dormitory, I found new friends from different cultures and countries .It was interesting for me to know about their food and customs. It opened a new door of entertainment and fun for me. In our spare time we tried different foods and customs and had lots of fun and felt more bond to the community. So, making new friends is eye-opening and bring us more happiness.
.
In conclusion, although our old friends are more reliable and understandable, making new friends have advantages for living happily. Not only they grow our perspective and broaden our view for having more fun in our life, but also make our social life more prosperous. Therefore, it is invaluable to be surrounded by lots of friends in every place and make bond with others.
- tpo38 3
- TPO-49 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends 70
- TOEFL integrated writing: Altruism 3
- Nowadays, children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phone, video games, for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for the children's development. 66
- TPO-49 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 368, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...like a precious gem that enrich our life , for having a happy life ,we need to mak...
^^
Line 1, column 394, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nrich our life , for having a happy life ,we need to make new friends in our life ...
^^
Line 2, column 233, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...e and then moved to other place for work . Some people have to change their city a...
^^
Line 2, column 296, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...change their city and even their country . We may be far from our close friends an...
^^
Line 2, column 1452, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...have access to a great network of people Therefore, making new friends make our l...
^^
Line 3, column 268, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ple, we grow very prejudiced and limited ,hence, we do not enjoy our life. For ins...
^^
Line 3, column 425, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ds from different cultures and countries .It was interesting for me to know about ...
^^
Line 3, column 427, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
... from different cultures and countries .It was interesting for me to know about th...
^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...e-opening and bring us more happiness. . In conclusion, although our old frien...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, may, so, then, therefore, thus, well, while, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, first of all, in my opinion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 37.0 13.8261648746 268% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 52.1666666667 155% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2591.0 1977.66487455 131% => OK
No of words: 543.0 407.700716846 133% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77163904236 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82725184711 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72162520676 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.436464088398 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 803.7 618.680645161 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.4679860767 48.9658058833 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.5357142857 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3928571429 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 11.8709677419 168% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.214365151685 0.236089414692 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0755939275932 0.076458572812 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0505472406082 0.0737576698707 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15376946963 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0296866328411 0.0645574589148 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.2 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.