In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.
Normally, Every university has an almost similar educational system which is not studying all day just for few hours. As a result, It opens a window of opportunity for the students to do some activities that they want like having a part-time job which is one of the most popular activities. In my opinion, It is a good idea for them, because the main advantage that they could earn some money for paying their payment like tuition fee, electric bill etc. Apart from that, I have two more points which contribute to the idea explained in this essay.
First and Foremost, Having a part-time job is obviously a good way of gaining some working skills which are essential in the future. Because you are in a real workplace and real situation. Although sometimes you have to face many obstacles like having more stress than having no jobs due to tons of projects which must be done within a deadline and lack of relaxation which leads illness. On the other hand, if you take another perspective, you will realize that you definitely have got more benefits than those whether it be working experience which is the most important quality of being a worker. So you don’t have to worry about being unemployed and have more chance to get a better job in the future because in some companies they accept the people with working experience because It is no need to train them much and they have been through these tasks before. For example, my friend who is good at fixing the computer at first worked a part-time job which related to computer. And after he is able to fix and install some program fluently. Finally, now he works for the most popular computer store in my country. However, by doing this practice can pave the way for your desire work.
Moreover, It can teach them some vulnerable lesson about money. Many teenagers may not know the money value, they often spend on something that is unbeneficial to them and some of that money may come from their parents who work hard for them. So when they are experiencing with arduous works, They will know that money doesn’t come so easily because they have to put their effort in their work in order to earn that money. Therefore a part-time job is another way to teach a precious lesson for those students who are wasting their money.
To wrap up, I agree with an idea which teenager should have a job while studying. Because they will have more working experience for your work in the future and learn how the working life is.
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- TOEFL TPO 02 - Integrated Writing Task 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 441, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r hand, if you take another perspective, you will realize that you definitely hav...
^^
Line 5, column 429, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...their work in order to earn that money. Therefore a part-time job is another way to teach...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, while, apart from, for example, as a result, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2050.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 442.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.63800904977 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58517132086 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37971626189 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506787330317 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 644.4 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.7136815307 48.9658058833 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.894736842 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2631578947 20.6045352989 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.42105263158 5.45110844103 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230479674524 0.236089414692 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0783489366712 0.076458572812 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0474141256573 0.0737576698707 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151790966808 0.150856017488 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0396203779056 0.0645574589148 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.93 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.71 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.