TOEFL essay: Why go to university?

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TOEFL essay: Why go to university?

Going to university is a major dream for many young people around the world. Being either in a well-developed country or a third world country does not change the case so much. But why there are many people willing to get higher education degrees is one main question. In another words, why go university? Considering my self-experience and asking my friends motivations towards such degrees I can categorize the reasons into three main groups. They are: getting prepared for a career, the love for knowledge and obtaining more discipline.

At first, most young men and women and sometimes elders who seek a way to have a good future career go to university. These people find their best way for getting ready for a future job in the path of going to university. Having the economic crisis around the world, which has resulted in fewer jobs that do not need much expertise and knowledge, forces many people to get educated in order to find jobs easier. In my experience, in Iran, about 60% of the students enrolling in university have this as their main reason.

Second, there are a percent of people who love knowledge for itself. These mostly young, smart boys and girls do not look so much for future careers. They mostly find their lives devoted to science. They mainly join higher education programs and find their jobs as researchers and university professors. Based on my knowledge they are about 30% of the remaining people who join university.

The last group is the rest 10% which already have their jobs and careers. Their purpose of joining university is to get a degree to help them have more social discipline. They mainly do not use much of their knowledge got from university but instead use their degree. They just want to have the prefix of an educated person in front of them.

Having everything said and done, why people go to university is based on their style of living and culture. This results in organizing people, especially Iranians into three main groups. The ones’ who go to university for a future job, The ones’ who love knowledge and science and the ones who just want the degree for some kind of discipline. Being write or wrong this is what it is like in Iran based on my personal experience.

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flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 5.86 7.5

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 1793 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.609 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.45 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.913 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.86 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.304 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5