The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
A letter to the editor of a scientific journal refers a recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys and tries to the editor to draw conclusion that there is the effects of birth order on an individual's level of stimulation. The letter also provides some evidence. However, after deep analysis of the letter, one can spot several flaws in the author's evidence.
A study on eighteen rhesus monkeys referred in the scientific journal provides clues that there is a relation between individual's levels of stimulation and birth order. However, it causes to raise some questions. First question is what are those clues that suggest the effects of birth order on an individual's level of stimulation? Is study of eighteen rhesus monkeys are sufficient to reach the conclusion? Have this study performed over a sufficiently long period of time to establish relation between level of stimulation and the birth order?
The study showed that in stimulation situations such as encounter with an unfamiliar monkey, firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol. The problem with this previous statement is that they have mentioned only one stimulation situation. A study does not provide information about other stimulating situations. Another problem is that it states that firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, but it does not say anything how many of eighteen monkeys had produced twice as much of the hormone cortisol?
The study does not provide information about hormone cortisol. So it creates questions among the readers. Does an amount of hormone cortisol determine levels of stimulation? Have all the monkeys been studied under same stimulation situation or different stimulation situation? There may be other reasons which cause to increase the amount of hormone cortisol. High amount of the hormone cortisol primes the body for increased activity levels. How they have determined activity levels?
The study further states that firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations. How may humans have been observed to establish such a relation? Have this behavior been observed in all stimulation situation or specific situation such as the return of a parent after an absence. The study compares only firstborn infant and second child. Will level of hormone cortisol further reduce in third child?
The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring. From eighteen rhesus monkeys, how many monkeys are first-time mother and how many mother monkeys had had several offspring? Were they all in same condition during pregnancy? In sum, this study left several questions unanswered. Unless these questions are not answered, relation between an individual's levels of stimulation and birth order.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 456 350
No. of Characters: 2396 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.621 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.254 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.664 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.724 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.761 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.483 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.48 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
please provide flaws in my
please provide flaws in my argument essay.
Need to read the sample essay
Need to read the sample essay:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
This essay topic is the most difficult one for arguments.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 146, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'there are the effects'?
Suggestion: there are the effects
...s to the editor to draw conclusion that there is the effects of birth order on an individuals level ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 190, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'raising'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: raising
...ion and birth order. However, it causes to raise some questions. First question is what ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 461, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...tudy performed over a sufficiently long period of time to establish relation between level of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 317, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'increasing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: increasing
... There may be other reasons which cause to increase the amount of hormone cortisol. High am...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 121, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...r levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring. From eighteen rhesus...
^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 245, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...time mother and how many mother monkeys had had several offspring? Were they all in sam...
^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 488, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... levels of stimulation and birth order.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, second, so, third, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2453.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 456.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.37938596491 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73392975808 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.414473684211 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 766.8 705.55239521 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.2494609267 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.5862068966 119.503703932 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.724137931 23.324526521 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.13793103448 5.70786347227 37% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 20.0 4.67664670659 428% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.400365473388 0.218282227539 183% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118222935047 0.0743258471296 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.136559266542 0.0701772020484 195% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.240011755002 0.128457276422 187% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.14626168775 0.0628817314937 233% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 47.79 48.3550499002 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.63 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.