Young minds should be encouraged to pursue long-term realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
I agree with the assertion that young minds should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals. Though the idea of having fame and recognition seems very attractive, young people should focus more on working towards a realistic goal instead of running behind these superficial endeavors.
It is very crucial to shape young minds in the right direction from the beginning itself otherwise some may waste half of their lifetimes in pursue of unrealistic goals. Fame, apart from being ephemeral in nature, is very hard to achieve. Some might employ tricks and shortcuts but that type of fame or recognition is short-lived. To be recognized for some kind of a talent among millions of such aspiring individuals is also a challenge in itself. Teenagers are influenced to follow celebrities when they see the amount of fame an actor, a singer, a pop star or a dancer gets but they do not realize that for every celebrity that succeeded in his/her field, there are hundreds of thousands that didn’t.
Whereas if people at a young age are encouraged to pursue realistic goals then they might actually achieve something substantial in life. Long-term goals also ensure stability in the future. At first, these long term goals do not really excite young people because it does not result into immediate results. In order to succeed, one has to work hard towards the goal. But the fact that this hard work pays off in the end, makes it a much better choice than indulging into fame-driven practices.
Looking at the economical aspect, once success is achieved in a long-term goal, it stays as long as a person lives. On the contrary, even if a person achieves fame, one small action can result into defaming of that person and then that person will lose all the fame he/she has acquired. In this line of business, one can easily be rendered obsolete by a better succession and then he/she will have no means to economically support himself/herself.
Moreover, long term goals can also result into benefit of the country along with the benefit of the individual. If all the young people are encouraged to pursue realistic goals then the country will progress as a whole. Keeping realistic goals doesn’t mean that people should not pursue goals which are challenging, different or eccentric but it means that even if people wants to pursue such goals it should not be for the sake of gaining fame.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 358, Rule ID: KIND_OF_A[1]
Message: Don't include 'a' after a classification term. Use simply 'kind of'.
Suggestion: kind of
... short-lived. To be recognized for some kind of a talent among millions of such aspiring ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...dreds of thousands that didn't. Whereas if people at a young age are encouraged...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 452, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ld not be for the sake of gaining fame.
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, look, may, moreover, really, so, then, whereas, apart from, as to, kind of, such as, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 58.6224719101 90% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2011.0 2235.4752809 90% => OK
No of words: 407.0 442.535393258 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.94103194103 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65050328689 2.79657885939 95% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 215.323595506 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520884520885 0.4932671777 106% => OK
syllable_count: 619.2 704.065955056 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.3206074622 60.3974514979 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.722222222 118.986275619 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6111111111 23.4991977007 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.33333333333 5.21951772744 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.409860002368 0.243740707755 168% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130142559595 0.0831039109588 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104888572262 0.0758088955206 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.240220300277 0.150359130593 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114214472004 0.0667264976115 171% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 12.1639044944 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.