In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight.What do you think are the causes of this?What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays, obesity is the major concern in many countries. This problem mostly occurs in young teenagers, because of their unhealthy lifestyle. This essay provides some causes and also a few solutions for that.
First of all, children consuming junk food which contains a high level of calories, cholesterol, and fat. They are main sources of creating fat in human body. Second, technology makes life more comfortable without taking any effort which is another reason for gaining weight. Children going to school by school bus or any personal transport and also play indoor games or watching television in their free time. So, technology reduces the physical efforts by which all consumed calories converted into fat as a result overweight.
However, it can be controlled by the help of a parent, teachers, and government. Parents need to keep an eye on their children eating habits and maintain the value of all necessary minerals like protein, calcium, and vitamins in their food. In school, teachers need to organize some kind of physical activities in a break and also teach physical education as a subject in which all the students do some exercise and also know about the benefits of doing exercise. At last, the government has to take some legal action towards the food industry, So they can improve the value of minerals in their food items.
In conclusion, this essay support that teenagers should consume healthy food and do some physical activities. And use cycling and walking for their primary mode of transport. However, it can't be solved without the help of parents and teachers.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 187, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... primary mode of transport. However, it cant be solved without the help of parents a...
^^^^
Line 4, column 187, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'cants'?
Suggestion: cants
... primary mode of transport. However, it cant be solved without the help of parents a...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, second, so, as to, in conclusion, kind of, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 13.1623246493 38% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 15.0 24.0651302605 62% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 41.998997996 83% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1334.0 1615.20841683 83% => OK
No of words: 263.0 315.596192385 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07224334601 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.02706775958 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58862487861 2.80592935109 92% => OK
Unique words: 165.0 176.041082164 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.627376425856 0.561755894193 112% => OK
syllable_count: 406.8 506.74238477 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 0.809619238477 494% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.6623878548 49.4020404114 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.9333333333 106.682146367 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5333333333 20.7667163134 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.26666666667 7.06120827912 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.101555593497 0.244688304435 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0347309025702 0.084324248473 41% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0322601898849 0.0667982634062 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.067519727366 0.151304729494 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0396999942012 0.056905535591 70% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 13.0946893788 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 50.2224549098 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 11.3001002004 77% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.83 12.4159519038 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.28 8.58950901804 108% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 78.4519038076 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.