"Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, a jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable."
According to the author, Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe. A jazz music club in the city would be of tremendous profit. Jazz have highly attracted the people of Monroe’s. It has become the annual festival last summer in Monroe. Author has provided with numerous evidences to prove his point both valid and valuable.
Firstly, he has mentioned that last summer over 100000 people have attended the Monroe’s annual jazz festival. Also the highest rated radio program in Monroe is ‘Jazz Nightly’ which gets aired on every weeknight. Data collected by the author includes information about the Monroe’s city only but it didn’t provide any comparison with other cities. Number of people attending the Jazz music night might be higher than the people attending the event in Monroe.
Secondly, the author has mentioned that well known jazz musicians owns home in Monroe. Argument given by the author can not be considered as the valid point, as well known musicians might have houses in different states of the world. It doesn’t not guarantee that the musician will be more interested in doing shows in Monroe. Even if they are willing to do, there is no information available regarding what price will the musician charge from them. Henceforth, it can not be considered to strengthen the argument.
Moreover, the author have posited that the Jazz is very popular in Monroe but he has not mentioned any comparison with other states. Jazz might be equally or more popular in other states than Monroe. In addition to it, the author has also collected nationwide statistics indicating that the typical Jazz fan will spends close to $1000 per year on jazz entertainment. The information collected is of all over the states, the author has not mentioned the annual amount spent by a Jazz fan in Monroe.
To put it in other words, Jazz is equally likely popular all around the world. Thus, opening up a jazz music club in any other city can be of equal profit as it is in Monroe. Author has failed in giving clear information about how it is more favourable to open in Monroe in comparison to other cities nationwide. The expenditure of jazz implements its likeness all our the world not just in Monoroe.
To summarize, Jazz music is very popular nationwide. People are spending thousands of dollars yearly on it for entertaining themselves with jazz music. But, the statement posited by the author is vague that the Jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable. Author have collected data but has not been meticulous while collecting information. He must have been more focused about the quality of information collected rather on the quantity of information. He should have collected more information of Monroe city in comparison to other cities.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
---|---|---|---|
2019-08-01 | navjotsandhu49 | 77 | view |
2019-07-09 | luzhang | 33 | view |
2019-04-06 | riddhi.jain | 59 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 468 350
No. of Characters: 2254 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.816 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.545 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.807 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.151 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 117, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...the Monroe's annual jazz festival. Also the highest rated radio program in Monr...
^^^^
Line 7, column 314, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'spend'
Suggestion: spend
...dicating that the typical Jazz fan will spends close to 000 per year on jazz entertain...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, while, in addition, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2355.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 466.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05364806867 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75968084812 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.435622317597 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 735.3 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.9254814293 57.8364921388 52% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 84.1071428571 119.503703932 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6428571429 23.324526521 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.75 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 8.20758483034 244% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.348283479825 0.218282227539 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.117544085635 0.0743258471296 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0922315427254 0.0701772020484 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.213352625248 0.128457276422 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.110851252438 0.0628817314937 176% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.71 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.72 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 12.3882235529 44% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.