TPO 35 - Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Celebrities and successful athletes are the major targets of public scrutiny. In my opinion, I completely agree with the argument that their privacy should be respected to the largest extent. There are two reasons supporting my view which will be explored in the following essay.
On the one hand, celebs and famous players catch wide public attention especially teenagers with their daily activities. As the result, what they do during the day will certainly be scrutinized and published on newspapers and other media. Consequently, they lose most of their privacy. On the other hand, despite of their popularity, they are also normal people like the others, having their own friends and family. Therefore, famous artists or athletes also hunger for personal moments to enjoy them with their lovers. My brother is a compelling example. He is a famous football player in my country which means that he is always under the scrutiny of local media and followed by hundreds of his fans. My brother only wishes to have some quiet moments with his family and friends. This example show how privacy is precious to famous people.
Secondly, sport players have to practice very hard to maintain their success and celebrities spend hours on rehearsing before extraordinary performances can be given to their audience. Like anyone else in other professions, those public icons deserve to have more privacy to relax and recharge themselves. Otherwise, their creativity and skills will be seriously stricken. A famous singer in my country exemplifies this idea. She had been followed by dozens of paparazzies twenty-four hours a day and every detail of her life is shown on newspapers. Being disturbed day over day, she had no time to rest thus her performances gradually lost creativity. As such, she decided to stop singing for two years so as to no one will bother her life. After two years of disappearance, she returned last year with her full power and has brought precious songs to the public since then.
In conclusion, those abovementioned reasons help me to put my weight on the fact that popular artists and athletes deserve to have more privacy in order that they can concentrate on their professional activities, creating excellent performances and valuable works.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 464, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'hungered'.
Suggestion: hungered
...re, famous artists or athletes are also hunger for personal moments to enjoy them with...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 639, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...e decided to stop singing for two years so as to no one will bother her life. After two ...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, well, as to, in conclusion, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1864.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 365.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10684931507 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37092360658 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76227161814 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.575342465753 0.524837075471 110% => OK
syllable_count: 572.4 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.9282234813 48.9658058833 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.2 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.25 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.45 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.203160007843 0.236089414692 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0589441661044 0.076458572812 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0441917622421 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131166012265 0.150856017488 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0335163526621 0.0645574589148 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.25 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.