I am living in a community wiht lots lof people. Because there are over ten thousands of peolpe living in over thirty tall buidings with 27 floors in my community. While due to all of the families living in the isolated apartments, people seldom communicate with each others. Thus our community well define the word cement jungle and I barely know which city my neighbour next to me comes from. In my opinion, I belive it is a good choice that I will spent hours of time to organinze group activeities with my neighbours every month, so all of us will benefit from these activies as it would let us know more about each other and our comunity thrive in this way. I will address my view in three points.
To begin with, group activities in neighbours would make us know more about each other. Every morning most of people would go out for the business of our own, go to work, go shopping or merely take children to schools. While as a new community in this city, neighbours do not know each others very much. our neighbours are just like strangers. Hence a group activity like ice-breaking would let us to know neighbours more. Like the community where my parents living in, they organinze activity like this monthly, so almost every one know their neighbours well, thus if my mother want to go to the clinics to check her body, he would firstly ask her doctor neighbour which hospital is better for certain illness.
In addtion, group activity would make neighbours with same hobbies friends.My father feels like fishing while my mother and I have no interest to fish. Once he felt lonely that he could not find a friend fishing with him. While as he paticipated in the group activity, he immediately found several friends who also felt like fishing. Thus almost every month, they went out for fishing. I am happy thay my father have such neighbour who could play with him. While as for me, I like listenning to rock music, I am sure that there must be someone who share the same music taste with me. Thus I would make friends in groups activity in our neighbors.
Finally, a grous activity in neighbours would be a good place for us to discuss some plans of our community. Once there were lots of pets kept by my parents neighbours shitte everwhere in their community. Many people felt annoying about this. Then in the group activity, some of the neighbours alleged to protect the envrionment of their community by using special tool to clean pets' shit when they walk their pets like dogs. And then it worked almost every pet owner obey the rules they made.
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- TOEFL T P O 33 - Integrated Writing Task 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 50, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ng in a community wiht lots lof people. Because there are over ten thousands of peolpe ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 73, Rule ID: CD_DOZENS_OF[1]
Message: Use a singular form of the numeral here: 'ten thousand'.
Suggestion: ten thousand
...lots lof people. Because there are over ten thousands of peolpe living in over thirty tall buidi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 178, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...27 floors in my community. While due to all of the families living in the isolated apartme...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 277, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...le seldom communicate with each others. Thus our community well define the word ceme...
^^^^
Line 1, column 452, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'spend'
Suggestion: spend
... belive it is a good choice that I will spent hours of time to organinze group active...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 103, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
...ow more about each other. Every morning most of people would go out for the business of our ow...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 305, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Our
...ours do not know each others very much. our neighbours are just like strangers. Hen...
^^^
Line 3, column 345, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...our neighbours are just like strangers. Hence a group activity like ice-breaking woul...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 76, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: My
...ke neighbours with same hobbies friends.My father feels like fishing while my moth...
^^
Line 5, column 153, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Once” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... mother and I have no interest to fish. Once he felt lonely that he could not find a...
^^^^
Line 5, column 335, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ral friends who also felt like fishing. Thus almost every month, they went out for f...
^^^^
Line 5, column 585, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...who share the same music taste with me. Thus I would make friends in groups activity...
^^^^
Line 7, column 110, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Once” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...to discuss some plans of our community. Once there were lots of pets kept by my pare...
^^^^
Line 7, column 272, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...about this. Then in the group activity, some of the neighbours alleged to protect the envri...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, so, then, thus, well, while, as for, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2109.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 459.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.59477124183 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37295410575 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.498910675381 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 648.9 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.2712414925 48.9658058833 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.875 100.406767564 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.125 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.45833333333 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.5376344086 253% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0727071037093 0.236089414692 31% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0242440725708 0.076458572812 32% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0284041006941 0.0737576698707 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0490502425007 0.150856017488 33% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0311378842041 0.0645574589148 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.34 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.78 8.01818996416 85% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.