"Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other island cultures."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument here is about a research on the children in the island of Tertia about how they are reared and there was comparison between two researchers work. Finally the argument compared between two research method, obeservation-centered and interview-centered, and colcuded that the interview-centered method will give more accureate result. But this conclusion is based on a number of assumptions and did not answer some major questions, which can make the conclusion weak in effect.
Firstly, the study that was first conducted by Dr. Field was conducted twenty years ago and with a different method. After twenty year, Dr. Karp used a completely different method of research. But between these two studies there is huge gap of twenty years. Much could have changed between these years. It is possible that the during the Dr. Field research the child reared by the entire village. But twenty year is a very long time and with time it might be possible that the culture of Tertia island have changed. No other indications are cited here to be sure. We have seen so many cultures in our society to be phased out within a period of ten to fifteen years. It is possible that the children of tertia and the cultures have shifted toward being more self centered. Without this information calling the conclusion of Dr. filed is not convincing.
Secondly, Dr. Karp conducted his study via interview-centered process, but here no information about the number of interviews was cited. It is very possible for a study to get biased due to the size of sample. For example if Dr. Karp interviewed 10 chindren from 1 million children in the island, that is not a very convincing represntation of the children on the island. At the same time, it is possible that all the children he interviewed might be more inclined toward their parents and talked lot about them. Thus without the size of the smaple compared to the number of children in the Tertia island, the conclusion to state interview-centered study will give more better result is overstated.
Furthermore, in the conclusion it was stated that to get a more accurate result the interview-centered policy should be espoused. But it did not gave any reasoning behind it other than the result from Dr. karp's study. It is possible that the result from the study was anomaly and might be flawed. No scientific approach was given how it faired better than the observation-based study. It is possible that the interview-based study is more time-consuming and costly. Thus limits its ability to cover the full nation. Where as the observation-based study, being devoid of the necessity of the human contact might give better opportunity to cover the whole population. Without these information we cannot just declare the interview-centered study more appropriate.
Thus, although the result of the two researcher differed from each other, considering the fallacies involved in the logic of the assumptions, more evidence is needed to make the decisoion about which way of study is better.
- TOEFL T P O 12 - Integrated Writing Task 3
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-21-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 503 350
No. of Characters: 2482 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.736 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.934 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.057 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 169 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.63 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.155 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.481 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.47 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 28, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
The argument here is about a research on the children in the island of Tertia...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 160, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...omparison between two researchers work. Finally the argument compared between two resea...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 514, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...heir parents and talked lot about them. Thus without the size of the smaple compared...
^^^^
Line 5, column 666, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'better' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: better
...tate interview-centered study will give more better result is overstated. Furthermore, i...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 146, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'give'
Suggestion: give
...licy should be espoused. But it did not gave any reasoning behind it other than the ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 338, Rule ID: FAIRED_BADLY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'fared better'?
Suggestion: fared better
...No scientific approach was given how it faired better than the observation-based study. It is...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 517, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Whereas'?
Suggestion: Whereas
...s its ability to cover the full nation. Where as the observation-based study, being devo...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 675, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'these informations'?
Suggestion: this information; these informations
... to cover the whole population. Without these information we cannot just declare the interview-ce...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, if, second, secondly, so, thus, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2539.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 503.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04771371769 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73578520332 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11983099768 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.451292246521 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 786.6 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.0727197824 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.037037037 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6296296296 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.18518518519 5.70786347227 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183405842024 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0538934264427 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0471339675446 0.0701772020484 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0992708717544 0.128457276422 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0563118518999 0.0628817314937 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.89 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.