The following is a letter to the head of the tourism bureau on the island of Tria.
"Erosion of beach sand along the shores of Tria Island is a serious threat to our island and our tourist industry. In order to stop the erosion, we should charge people for using the beaches. Although this solution may annoy a few tourists in the short term, it will raise money for replenishing the sand. Replenishing the sand, as was done to protect buildings on the nearby island of Batia, will help protect buildings along our shores, thereby reducing these buildings' risk of additional damage from severe storms. And since beaches and buildings in the area will be preserved, Tria's tourist industry will improve over the long term."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The letter regarding erosion addressed to the tourism bureau of Tria is severely lacking is evidence to support its claims. The letter argues that erosion will eventually ruin the presumably already struggling tourism industry on the island. To remedy this, the letter proposes charging people to use the beaches. The money will then be used to replenish the sand on the beaches. Replenishing the sand was a solution used by another island. However the argument misses the mark by ignoring important evidence such as the results of replenishing the sand on the other island, whether the beaches are the most popular attraction to tourists, and the fact that tourists can just visit another beach for free.
Upon first viewing of the letter, one is greeted by a rather obvious flaw in having people pay to use the beaches. This is the fact that most people would prefer to visit another beach than to pay for use of Tria`s beaches. It is stated in the letter that Batia is a nearby island. What is to stop tourists from visiting there instead of Tria? They would get a similar beach experience without the fee. Additionally, how much would beachgoers be charged to use the beach? Would it truly be enough to fund a replenishing of the sand on Tria? In reality, very few people who are already paying a large sum of money to go on vacation will be willing to incur more fees. The tourists industry of Tria would more than likely decline even more as tourists forego paying to use the beach at Tria for using the beach on Batia for free. In addition, Batia has already found a solution for the erosion problem that does not cost beach goers money.
One other piece of evidence that is absent from the letter is whether replenishing the sand on Batia had a notable effect on beaches and buildings. This process may have made an imact, but it did so over many years, or it could have been an expensive waste of time and money that did little, if anything, to protect against large storms or to improve the tourist industry. The letter does not clarify this in either way.
Finally, the letter implies that by ensuring that the beaches and buildings on Tria are safe, the tourist industry will be as well. The letter does not present evidence to prove that beaches are the most important tourist attraction on the island. This island may attract more tourists because of an unusual piece of architecture or because of a fantastic shopping center. It is not necessarily the beaches of Tria that attract the most tourists.
To recapitulate, the letter is lacking in several pieces of evidence to prove its claims. Most notably, the facts that tourists are more likely to travel somewhere else than to pay more money to visit a specific beach. All the arguments presented would weaken the presented letter. Overall, requiring beachgoers to pay for its use would cause more harm than good because doing so would weaken the tourism industry of Tria further.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 515 350
No. of Characters: 2384 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.764 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.629 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.337 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.074 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.919 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.475 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 443, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... was a solution used by another island. However the argument misses the mark by ignorin...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 677, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'tourists'' or 'tourist's'?
Suggestion: tourists'; tourist's
...will be willing to incur more fees. The tourists industry of Tria would more than likely...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 744, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...ould more than likely decline even more as tourists forego paying to use the beach...
^^
Line 9, column 432, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n the tourism industry of Tria further.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, may, regarding, so, then, well, as to, in addition, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2451.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 515.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.75922330097 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.763781212 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42272678037 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.429126213592 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 758.7 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.5386079313 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.7777777778 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0740740741 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.44444444444 5.70786347227 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.260426308822 0.218282227539 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0857683625958 0.0743258471296 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0510455402855 0.0701772020484 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160152166637 0.128457276422 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0786327418389 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 14.3799401198 73% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.4 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.