In universities, people tend to concern more about the career prospect of the subjects they learn. Some people propose that students should learn subjects with fast job growth including math, science, technology, and engineering even if they are interested in other subjects. Do you agree or disagree?
The issue of whether it is better for people to study majors that related to a fast job growth category although these majors are not their interests aroused much controversy among people of different ages and different perspectives. Definitely, some people, if were asked would agree with the statement that the students should major in subjects such as math, science, and engineering even though their interests are different because of the promising future, while others have a negative attitude toward this point of view. As far as I am concerned, I postulate following our interests in far outweigh obliging ourselves to study in the subject just because of their career perspectives. In the following paragraph, I will shed light on the arguments to support my view.
The first vital point to be mentioned is that the majors like engineering, math, and science confront with excessive competition these days, as the most of students have a tendency to educate in these kinds of majors. Therefore, in the near future, we witness of depression in the job market of these subjects. Although these majors seem unsaturated, the escalating number of people on an unprecedented scale proves that this increase in job opportunity would not be permanent. As a result, if people study in their favorite field other than these fields, in the future they can find a proper job as their major won’t influence by this competition.
In approaching this issue, apart from the reason given above, another reason that deserves some words is that the interest is crucial in success which leads to a high salary. Interest makes people more enthusiastic and productive to study and work harder and better to promote in their career. As a consequence, the wise choice for everyone is pursuing his interests. For instance, in the modern world that technology and science are pioneers in everything and the workers in these fields are paid a high salary, we can see many artists create impressing artworks and not only admire by society but also they sell their artwork in unbelievable price. It proves that by following our interest we can achieve prosperity in spite of studying in the major the apparently might not lead to earning a high income.
By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments that explored above, I am of the opinion that major such science, math, and technology will be saturated in the future as many students tend to choose them because of their job market. Moreover, by following our interest regardless of whether they are includes in the fast job growth category, we can become affluent.
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- TPO6 Q1Integrated TOEFL writing 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 149, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the students') or simply say ''most students''.
Suggestion: most of the students; most students
...xcessive competition these days, as the most of students have a tendency to educate in these kin...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 367, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rowth category, we can become affluent.
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, but, first, if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, while, apart from, for instance, such as, as a result, by the way, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2179.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 435.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0091954023 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56690854021 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73666164345 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.503448275862 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 688.5 618.680645161 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 20.1344086022 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 65.7914550345 48.9658058833 134% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.266666667 100.406767564 145% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.0 20.6045352989 141% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.53333333333 5.45110844103 175% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230805410498 0.236089414692 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0729678189359 0.076458572812 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0566889358874 0.0737576698707 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143117135222 0.150856017488 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0511521188924 0.0645574589148 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 11.7677419355 142% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 58.1214874552 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.37 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.81 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 10.002688172 185% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.0537634409 135% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.