Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, it is impossible to see any program on the television without to be bombed with advertisements, even in the infantile sections. Whether this kind of commercial activity directed toward the kids under five should be forbidden or not, though, it is a matter of intense debate. As far as I am concerned, I firmly believe that commercials should be banned in those channels or hours, which the youngest of the house are enjoying of the TV. This position is based on two main reasons, that will be analyzed thoroughly below.
Firstly, kids have not the mental capacity to distinguish between the reality and the fiction in a commercial, which could end up being quite detrimental for them. With the cognitive maturity reached at the age of five or below, they do not understand the concept representation of the reality, and as a result, they assimilate any fact as a true. Example of that was the experience that I lived with my son John. One day, I realize he does not want to eat his breakfast. After a while, I finally understood that the reason was that the cereal was not the same brand that he saw on a TV commercial, where a popular cartoon said that it was the only one, with which kids could grow up healthy, strong. It cost me a lot of time convincing him that it was only a commercial strategy of sale. Therefore, if some types of materials are not allowed for children, such as violence or sexual scenes, owing to they are not prepared to understand them, Why we don’t analyze commercials in the same contest?
Secondly, kids have not the financial autonomy to decide which product they desire to acquire. Consequently, that puts an extra pressure in the parents, which sometime could not afford it. It is quite common to see a child crying in a mall, because they want a toy that he saw on the TV, and the parents trying to turn his attention to another thing in order to overcome that situation. Only those who are parents are able to understand the feeling of frustration of that moment, owing to they do not have enough money to satisfy the wish of his child, even when they are doing their best to support their kids. Why we should allow those companies, with unscrupulous commercial practices, to have the possibility to sow necessities in our children that are not essential for them?
In summation, due to the reasons presented in this essay are why I am of the opinion that not only advertisements, but all the commercial activity should be prohibited if it is directed toward kids under five. This is because they do not have the maturity to separate the reality of the fiction, and they do not have their own financial support.
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- Essay topics: TPO 9 - Integrated TOEFL essay 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 399, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
... to overcome that situation. Only those who are parents are able to understand the feel...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, finally, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, another thing, kind of, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 11.0286738351 209% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2198.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 473.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.64693446089 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71448235686 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.503171247357 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 693.9 618.680645161 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.6247863515 48.9658058833 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.111111111 100.406767564 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.2777777778 20.6045352989 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.33333333333 5.45110844103 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165715709501 0.236089414692 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0512352973474 0.076458572812 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0441231929524 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113102956422 0.150856017488 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.04421833281 0.0645574589148 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.99 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.