"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
The author recommends that Buckingham College must build new dormitories to serve the students for their need of housing. When it is considered as a whole, the argument reveals several instances of weak reasoning and fails to prove the points. To justify the recommendation, author notes that trends are showing increase in enrollment numbers, also in prices of rental market around the college and new dormitories provide good advertisement for students to prefer Buckingham College. However, neither the reliability of the trends are questioned, nor it is proven to having new dormitories attract students. Hence, author needs to investigate analysis deeply and needs to provide proofs on the claims.
To begin with, author readily assumes that the numbers in trends are reliable and would be stable over years. Unless this point is based on solid ground, one cannot build a case on it. For example, current trend could be derived from a survey of high school students, who would like to pursue higher education. In this case, students are only talking about their current dreams, which cannot stay the same over years. Students also have too many colleges to evaluate so that it could be the case that Buckingham College is not a preferred one. Moreover, doubling numbers are not believable since a college first needs to build new buildings for classrooms and have enough open space to provide for students. Hence author must present evidences that trends are based on a valid, reliable analysis and must prove that the college has capacity to support those many students in the future.
In addition to that, author claims that the rent prices are increased in the town, which makes it even harder to accommodate for students. Again, this is an unwarranted claim as it does not demonstrate a clear connection between the increased prices and purchasing power. To illustrate further, increasing prices are usual concepts in economic world as long as it is parallel with the increase in the income. Therefore, with the inflation, rent prices can be higher but incomes of students’ parents or students’ salaries could be increasing as well. If the argument had provided an evidence that purchasing power is declining while the price of the houses are rising, it would have been a lot more plausible to reader.
Finally, while satisfying the housing needs of students, the author cites that this plan could even attract more student to the college. Yet, claim is based on the assumption that the merit of a college is new dormitories in the perspective of students. Unfortunately, there are more important conditions that students look for in colleges. For instance, the graduate placements or the quality of the education is most significant of many. Still, this assumption could be correct, if there was another college nearby with a similar quality in education to Buckingham College. In this matter, new dormitories could swayed the students from preferring the other college. Without an evidence that shows College have convivial rivals to prove superiority, reader is left with impression that claim made by author is only an inkling rather than a substantiated case/
In conclusion, author’s points are not persuasive as it sounds. To strengthen the argument, one must provide more concrete evidences, perhaps reliable surveys showing these trends and analysis of prices in terms of inflation and purchasing power. Lastly, to better evaluate that College can attract more students with dormitories, one must give evidence on the competencies in nearby colleges.
- "To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space i 69
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 577 350
No. of Characters: 2924 1500
No. of Different Words: 252 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.901 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.068 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.641 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 227 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 168 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 112 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.37 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.787 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.475 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 569, Rule ID: IT_IS_JJ_TO_VBG[1]
Message: Did you mean 'have'?
Suggestion: have
...nds are questioned, nor it is proven to having new dormitories attract students. Hence...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 709, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ugh open space to provide for students. Hence author must present evidences that tren...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 615, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'sway'
Suggestion: sway
.... In this matter, new dormitories could swayed the students from preferring the other ...
^^^^^^
Line 17, column 400, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on the competencies in nearby colleges.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, lastly, look, moreover, so, still, then, therefore, well, while, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, talking about, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3030.0 2260.96107784 134% => OK
No of words: 577.0 441.139720559 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25129982669 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90110439584 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7857859954 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 269.0 204.123752495 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466204506066 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 936.9 705.55239521 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.22255489022 261% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.0154953504 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.538461538 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1923076923 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5 5.70786347227 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186290907905 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0586061132495 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0589818542978 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107472171756 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0739282867733 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 137.0 98.500998004 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.