“In a recent citywide poll, 15 percent more residents said that they watch television programs about the visual arts than was the case in a poll conducted five years ago. During these past five years, the number of people visiting our city’s art museums has increased by a similar percentage. Since the corporate funding that supports public television, where most of the visual arts programs appear, is now being threatened by severe cuts, we can expect that attendance at our city’s art museums will also start to decrease. Thus, some of the city’s funds for supporting the arts should be reallocated to public television.”
The editor of the memorandum of a large city council has shown a causal relationship between two entities . he states that in a recent citywide poll fifteen percent more residents said they watch television programs about the visual arts than was the case in a poll conducted five years ago . The editor also shows that the number of people visiting the city arts museum has increased by a similar percentage . The editor further argues that as the corporate funding that supports television is being threatened with severe cuts the attendance at the city's art museum will also start to decrease . he further to avoid the scenario suggests to reallocate the city funds to public television. The underlying argument certainly has merits but due to some faulty assumptions , vague language . The editor's argument is unsubstantiated and deeply flawed . some of the flaws are as follows.
First, the editor has used a reference of similar percentage to show that the two events happening have some relation with each other. For example, may be the increase in the number of people have been due to the extensive marketing by the museum and has no relation with the increase in the number of residents viewing the television programs.
Second, the editor has not shown any statistical proof for the event to be co-related. For instance if the events occurring were independent events . The approach that the editor is proposing to avoid any decrease in the number of people visiting the museums would go fail and have a counter effect on the funds allocated for the museums .
Third, the editor has also assumed that the fifteen percent increase on both the numbers to be same . For example, if the number of people viewing is 10000 five years ago and the number of people visiting the museum is 100 . The fifteen percent increase of both would be 1500 people increase for television programs and 15 people increase for visiting the museum. The figures shown above are not justifiable to show a causal relationship between the two events.
Although the editor's argument has made some faulty assumption . The editor if wants to strengthen the argument could add some statistical proof showing the events to be linked with each other . he could also add the above details . Without these changes the arguments remains implausible and reasoning faulty.
In the conclusion, the editor has given a interesting but flawed argument . Had the editor added some more parameters as the survey details and statistics proving the two events to be related the argument would have been persuasive. As it stands the argument remains weak. Hence, I remain unconvinced.
- The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette."The population on Balmer Island increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balm 39
- "Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge rel 59
- The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice for a client."Most homes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last heating season 42
- The following appeared in a magazine article on trends and lifestyles:“In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started s 44
- Two years ago, radio station WCQP in Rockville decided to increase the number of call-in advice programs that it broadcast; since that time, its share of the radio audience in the Rockville listening area has increased significantly. Given WCQP's rec 59
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 438 350
No. of Characters: 2160 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.575 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.932 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.566 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.092 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.557 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 106, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...causal relationship between two entities . he states that in a recent citywide pol...
^^
Line 1, column 109, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...sal relationship between two entities . he states that in a recent citywide poll f...
^^
Line 1, column 291, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... case in a poll conducted five years ago . The editor also shows that the number o...
^^
Line 1, column 360, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'arts'' or 'art's'?
Suggestion: arts'; art's
... the number of people visiting the city arts museum has increased by a similar perce...
^^^^
Line 1, column 409, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...um has increased by a similar percentage . The editor further argues that as the c...
^^
Line 1, column 596, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...s art museum will also start to decrease . he further to avoid the scenario sugges...
^^
Line 1, column 599, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...rt museum will also start to decrease . he further to avoid the scenario suggests ...
^^
Line 1, column 632, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggests reallocating'.
Suggestion: suggests reallocating
...ease . he further to avoid the scenario suggests to reallocate the city funds to public television. Th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 771, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...erits but due to some faulty assumptions , vague language . The editors argument i...
^^
Line 1, column 788, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...some faulty assumptions , vague language . The editors argument is unsubstantiated...
^^
Line 1, column 795, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'editors'' or 'editor's'?
Suggestion: editors'; editor's
...ulty assumptions , vague language . The editors argument is unsubstantiated and deeply ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 848, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ent is unsubstantiated and deeply flawed . some of the flaws are as follows. ...
^^
Line 1, column 851, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
... is unsubstantiated and deeply flawed . some of the flaws are as follows. Fi...
^^^^
Line 1, column 851, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... is unsubstantiated and deeply flawed . some of the flaws are as follows. First, th...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 148, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...events occurring were independent events . The approach that the editor is proposi...
^^
Line 13, column 338, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...t on the funds allocated for the museums . Third, the editor has also assume...
^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the funds allocated for the museums . Third, the editor has also assumed that ...
^^^^
Line 17, column 100, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... increase on both the numbers to be same . For example, if the number of people vi...
^^
Line 17, column 223, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ber of people visiting the museum is 100 . The fifteen percent increase of both wo...
^^
Line 23, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ionship between the two events. Although the editors argument has made some faul...
^^^^^^^^
Line 23, column 14, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'editors'' or 'editor's'?
Suggestion: editors'; editor's
...en the two events. Although the editors argument has made some faulty assumptio...
^^^^^^^
Line 23, column 62, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...argument has made some faulty assumption . The editor if wants to strengthen the a...
^^
Line 23, column 192, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... the events to be linked with each other . he could also add the above details . W...
^^
Line 23, column 195, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...e events to be linked with each other . he could also add the above details . With...
^^
Line 23, column 230, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...er . he could also add the above details . Without these changes the arguments rem...
^^
Line 29, column 41, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...In the conclusion, the editor has given a interesting but flawed argument . Had t...
^
Line 29, column 74, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... given a interesting but flawed argument . Had the editor added some more paramete...
^^
Line 29, column 234, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...he argument would have been persuasive. As it stands the argument remains weak. He...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, may, second, so, then, third, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2232.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 438.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09589041096 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57476223824 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65640247915 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.440639269406 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 693.0 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.7468383252 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.28 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.52 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.36 5.70786347227 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 28.0 5.25449101796 533% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20782266662 0.218282227539 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0564974845063 0.0743258471296 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.123607658315 0.0701772020484 176% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0991423535726 0.128457276422 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.112862346426 0.0628817314937 179% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.0 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.