Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Language is one of the most important parts of human communication skills. The controversial argues that it is believed to benefit young children to intake a second language in primary school, opposition would agree for them to learn in secondary school. In my perspective, I would not go along with this statement, although the advantage is closely considered.
Learning a second language can cause pupil’s uncertainty of expression when speak, not to mention other essential curriculum during school time. Different academic subjects learning has make it difficult and technical for primary students to absorb while study a second language. For instance, English and science, both require significant amount of time to understand and practice to manipulate; and become a master of the user. In additional, the stress of schooling and undeveloped brain could cause these students subject to mental health issue and language disorientated. Thus, it is clearly to identify for primary students to focus on their compulsory subjects rather learning a second language that has some negative impacts.
On the other hand, children who speak bilingual have beneficial in the later life. This can be seen clearly in a multicultural country, like Australia, during the adulthood career. These people can enjoy the advantage over others who cannot speak more than a single language, due to the globalisation; multinational companies require employees to negotiate with other local organisations around the world. This benefit cannot be forbidden but only considering if the person can fully comprehend the complexity of the language, which in most cases a great difficulty for children during primary school.
To conclude, despite learning more languages will bring advantages in the foreseeable career, I do not agree for children in the age of primary school to struggle school studies and finding themselves with mental issues.
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Sentence: The controversial argues that it is believed to benefit young children to intake a second language in primary school, opposition would agree for them to learn in secondary school.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to controversial and argues
children who speak bilingual have beneficial in the later life
children who speak bilingual have benefits in the later life
Sentence: Learning a second language can cause pupil's uncertainty of expression when speak, not to mention other essential curriculum during school time.
Description: The fragment when speak , is rare
Sentence: Different academic subjects learning has make it difficult and technical for primary students to absorb while study a second language.
Description: A verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to has and make
despite learning more languages will bring advantages in the foreseeable career
Description: Check books how to use 'in spite of', 'Despite '
Sentence: These people can enjoy the advantage over others who cannot speak more than a single language, due to the globalisation; multinational companies require employees to negotiate with other local organisations around the world.
Error: globalisation Suggestion: globalization
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
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No. of Words: 297 350
No. of Characters: 1592 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.151 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.36 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.864 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.167 7.5
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.573 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5