Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent. Potential employers, looking at this dramatic rise in grades, believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement; as a result, Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this passage, the author recommends cancellation of the students evaluation of processors in Omega University. To support his/her claim, the author cites students' grade improvement after such changes of education mode. Furthermore, employers' comment is referred as evidence for students' inferior performance of job hunting. In addition, he/she compared students' job seeking performance in Omega with those in Alpha College. Quite reasonable though such recommendation appears at first glance, a closer scrutiny reveals that the conclusion lacks crucial supports and therefore we need more evidence to help evaluate such conclusion.
To start off, we need evidence to verify if professors really tended to make a higher score after adapation of such evaluation program. While it is shown that the risen average score of students coincided with this new proceduce, no evidence serves to rule out the probability that this positive change had been caused by great progress of professors' educational improvement. Thus, additional evidence gains great significance to determine whether professors became more concentrated on their courses to provide students with better trainings and course materials or if students had enhanced their learning ability and gained better score. If new information shows that they actually spent more time for their own educational responsibility and made tride compared with before, it is reasonably safe to claim that higher scores aren't counterfeited by professor for the sake of better feedback and his/her reasoning will be weakened. On another hand, if new evidence discloses that both professors and students become less arduous and hard-working for their own jobs, his/her viewpoint will gain more weights.
Furthermore, we need more evidence to ascertain whether such evaluation program impacts on students' learned skills and further for job hunting result. First of all, while employer's comments represents their negative comments for students' ability, we can't argue that such negative attitude would cast their evaluation of Omega students during recuitment. If evidence shows that employer actually keep enthusiasm to enroll students from Omega University, one negative impact mentioned in the issue could be in great doubt and his/her claim will be rendered much less advisable. Second, we need to know whether students from Omega really play inferiorly compared with Alpha University during job interview or other evaluation in job hunting process. If it turns out that they attended to get an much better job position instead of seeking inferior provision in market and therefore majority of them rejected offers frequently, we are unconvinced of the relatively worse job hunting results reflect their skills and ability to seize an better.
Last but not least, despite the presence of all previous evidence, a more accurate evaluation of the author's recommendation requires further information. Specific evidence is needed to decide whether cancellation of such program could improve students' performance during getting better job; that is to say, whether students and professor might even lose their passion as a result of the fraction of their accustomed learning mode. If the answer is positive, his/her viewpoint will be strengthened. On the contrary, if both students and professor disgust such abrupt change, we are reluctant to believe that it could work as its expectation.
In summary, the evidence cited by the author in the argument could not provide sufficiently conclusive information to make his/her claim compelling. As a result, we need more evidence to better evaluate such conclusion.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 563 350
No. of Characters: 3040 1500
No. of Different Words: 266 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.871 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.4 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.814 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 244 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 197 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 150 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 80 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.81 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.992 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.905 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.235 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 60, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...e author recommends cancellation of the students evaluation of processors in Omega Unive...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 829, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...onably safe to claim that higher scores arent counterfeited by professor for the sake...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1067, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ous and hard-working for their own jobs, his/her viewpoint will gain more weights...
^^
Line 5, column 251, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ative comments for students ability, we cant argue that such negative attitude would...
^^^^
Line 5, column 790, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... it turns out that they attended to get an much better job position instead of see...
^^
Line 5, column 1030, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...flect their skills and ability to seize an better. Last but not least, despite...
^^
Line 7, column 102, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ence, a more accurate evaluation of the authors recommendation requires further informa...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, furthermore, if, really, second, so, then, therefore, thus, while, in addition, in summary, as a result, first of all, on the contrary, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 28.8173652695 187% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 41.0 16.3942115768 250% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3106.0 2260.96107784 137% => OK
No of words: 555.0 441.139720559 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.5963963964 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85370353223 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86646224377 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 273.0 204.123752495 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.491891891892 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 967.5 705.55239521 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.9765151134 57.8364921388 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.904761905 119.503703932 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4285714286 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.19047619048 5.70786347227 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.243505286243 0.218282227539 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0835918139711 0.0743258471296 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0547798736225 0.0701772020484 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139877378065 0.128457276422 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0653414799557 0.0628817314937 104% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.2 14.3799401198 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.3550499002 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.5 12.5979740519 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.19 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 150.0 98.500998004 152% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.