The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine Government funding should reflect this To what extent do you agree

Essay topics:

The prevention of health problems and illness is
more important than treatment and medicine.
Government funding should reflect this.
To what extent do you agree?

It is true governments around the world have been working hard
determining the best budget allocation mix between preventing future
and treating current illnesses. Although millions of ill people need
medical treatments now, governments should still prioritize the
preventive avenue over curative one.
The first reason is that this is a more effective way to spend money
on healthcare. First, by focusing on promoting a healthier lifestyle, the
public will be able to take care of themselves instead of relying on
their governments. For example, by building more parks and sports
facilities, people will have places and tools to improve their own
health by exercising. Second, spending money on preventive
approach ensures that current and future citizens will be able to live
longer and happier than did previous generations. If the preventive
approach was not focused enough, future generations would have
the same or even worse living conditions and lifestyles, which
deteriorates their health.
It is also more efficient to spend money enhancing lifestyle. First, as
dieting and active lifestyles come into play, there would be fewer
needs for medical treatments in the future. Therefore, governments
would in turn save the efforts that could have been put on curing
illnesses. In addition, money would also be saved as there would be
fewer cases requiring medical treatments. The money saved would be
spent on improving the quality of hospitals and clinics, enhancing
public health even more.
In conclusion, it is more effective and efficient in the long run to
focus on the preventive approaches. This benefits not only the
governments but also the citizens’ health.

(source: Kien Tran)

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
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Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Source
...ents but also the citizens’ health. source: Kien Tran
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, still, therefore, for example, in addition, in conclusion, it is true

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 7.85571142285 153% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 24.0651302605 50% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 41.998997996 69% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.3376753507 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1481.0 1615.20841683 92% => OK
No of words: 267.0 315.596192385 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.5468164794 5.12529762239 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.04229324003 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79490100282 2.80592935109 100% => OK
Unique words: 157.0 176.041082164 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.588014981273 0.561755894193 105% => OK
syllable_count: 435.6 506.74238477 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.5109088741 49.4020404114 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.7333333333 106.682146367 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8 20.7667163134 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.86666666667 7.06120827912 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 27.0 4.38176352705 616% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165844904959 0.244688304435 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0594959044227 0.084324248473 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0471394699039 0.0667982634062 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0489563501052 0.151304729494 32% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0498233031272 0.056905535591 88% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 13.0946893788 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 50.2224549098 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.61 12.4159519038 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.62 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 78.4519038076 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum five paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.