The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The prompt supports the idea to cut off education budget because of their lower birthrate compared to previous five years and would like to suggest to increase the same for city facilites. Although certian points have been logically drawn by the committee, still there are sufficient logical flaws in the assumptions that based the argument and inhibits to come to any certian conclusion. Some of the assumptions are mentione here followed by proper clarification of the same.
First of all - the committee argues to cut off the education budget in consideration that - their birthrate is declining and that is why they will have lesser students in publci school than before and so there is no need to maintain the same aboundance. Seems logical. However, the committee ahs not proeperly mentioned any prospect of foreign students, studying in those public schools. Neither had any say on the future plan of the school to enroll any foreign student - holds a significant factor to the decision. For example - in the following year there is a sudden surge of foreign people to immigrate in the city of Calatrava. What if those parents want their children to admit in the public schools of the city. In order to maintian that - the schools will require sufficient education funds otherwise they will fall. So, the idea that cuting off the education budget is a promisable one might not hold that much firmness.
Coming to that - there is also a few proponents of the idea to cut off even the find for playing fields and recreational facilties, taking the decline in birthrate into consideration. So, it is clearly seen that - the committee is presuming that the recreational fields and the playing grounds are only for the children - which in many cases might not hold true. The parks or any botanical gardern or any open fields for amusement - are not only for the children. Adults as well as teenagers gather there to find some leisure from theri daily works. Couples might find comfort there having sufficient amount of time for each other. Apart from that - many oldies might use the facilities of the recreational fields and playing grounds to cater their limitless free time as they feel happy there. Surprisingly, it might be the case that - majority of the people who use the facilities of the playing grounds are the adults and children are only the minority of them. In that case it will be such an irony for the committee.
Also it is assumed that - the city facilities hold better regards to get sufficient funding from the authority as there is good chance of increment in adult population. The concept of adult upsurge in population is a kind of oxymoron itself. Because of the science that childbirth is decreasing so will be the teenagers in coming decades. And as the number of teenager is also in low steep then it will also follow the same for the adults. So, in no times it can easily be conceived that the idea to increase city fund based on the assumption of adult population is not a good option to have. Now, even if the funding of city facilities is compared to that of the education incites many questions to answer. For instance - there is no guarantee that the people in coming times will live mostly in the urban areas or they are in need of even any increase in facilites. What if the mjority of the people in coming decades choose rural areas outside the city of Calatrava as better habitation because of certain reason? In that case the concept of the committee will be a total loss to increase the funding the city facilites.
So, looking at all the concepts and critical remarks presented above it is urgent to review the aforementioned points and factors with sufficient evidences before coming to any conclusion of cutting of or increment of funding.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 20 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 651 350
No. of Characters: 3065 1500
No. of Different Words: 270 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.051 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.708 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.54 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 214 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 158 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 73 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.448 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.756 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.655 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.265 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.443 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 390, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: Some
...bits to come to any certian conclusion. Some of the assumptions are mentione here followed ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ification of the same. First of all - the committee argues to cut off the educ...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... be such an irony for the committee. Also it is assumed that - the city facilitie...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, look, so, still, then, well, apart from, for example, for instance, kind of, as well as, first of all, in many cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 97.0 55.5748502994 175% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3133.0 2260.96107784 139% => OK
No of words: 651.0 441.139720559 148% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.81259600614 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.05120793913 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62315289374 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 279.0 204.123752495 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.428571428571 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 990.9 705.55239521 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.3539131636 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.892857143 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.25 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.07142857143 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.181873990407 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0467449063112 0.0743258471296 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0569254961353 0.0701772020484 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.093673893575 0.128457276422 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0557502894867 0.0628817314937 89% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 138.0 98.500998004 140% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.