The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores.
Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices.
Instead, we should reduce our operating hours.
Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago.
Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The new strategy to be adopted by the Movies Galore at all their branches, in order to improve profits is to reduce their operating hours. The strategy was supported by the fact that they received very few customer complaints about these new policies. However, in order to assure guarantee that the strategy has successful, we require a few concrete evidences to support it.
Firstly, there has been no direct evidence of improve in the sale numbers of the the rented movies. For example, say a chemical company in order to maximize it's profits decides to to reduce it's number of operating days for the workers. The reduction in the working hours of the workers has no solid relation with selling of the products itself. Thus ,the example paints a quite clear picture, that even though we reduce the number of working hours for the employees, there is no guarantee that it can solve the problem at hand.
Secondly, the strategy to reduce the stock of older movies is not bolstered by any proof that the customers are not interested in those movies. A number of people enjoy rewatching old classics, which thus provides the company with a complete separate fan base for movies. The reduction in the inventory would hamper their sales, as they are cutting down a huge chunk of their targeted audiences.
Thus, the strategy to be adopted hold no water and flawed in a sense that they hold no guarantee of a complete success. If the strategy is to be implemented, then the research team of the company need to provide the required statistics in numbers and consolidate their plan.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 273 350
No. of Characters: 1278 1500
No. of Different Words: 142 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.681 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.432 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.085 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.609 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 78, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...dence of improve in the sale numbers of the the rented movies. For example, say a chemi...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 78, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...dence of improve in the sale numbers of the the rented movies. For example, say a chemi...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 178, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: to
...n order to maximize its profits decides to to reduce its number of operating days fo...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 204, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ofits decides to to reduce its number of operating days for the workers. The redu...
^^
Line 3, column 351, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ith selling of the products itself. Thus ,the example paints a quite clear picture...
^^
Line 5, column 354, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er their sales, as they are cutting down a huge chunk of their targeted audiences...
^^
Line 8, column 87, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... and flawed in a sense that they hold no guarantee of a complete success. If the ...
^^
Line 8, column 164, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the strategy is to be implemented, then the research team of the company need to...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, thus, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1317.0 2260.96107784 58% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 273.0 441.139720559 62% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82417582418 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.06481385082 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52242421988 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 144.0 204.123752495 71% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.527472527473 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 415.8 705.55239521 59% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 21.5503286905 57.8364921388 37% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 109.75 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.75 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.16666666667 5.70786347227 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.101923701116 0.218282227539 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0380082079856 0.0743258471296 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0585694623647 0.0701772020484 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0599682737819 0.128457276422 47% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0458635555941 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.37 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.