if you could change one important thing about your home town, what would change?
My home town located in a developing country and it suffers from many cultural and economic problems. While some economists state that setting up a new factory has many adverse side effects on people, some others believe it is a great chance to solve many economic and social issues. In my view, building a new company is the most beneficial choice for two main reasons:
first, more factories mean more job opportunities which lead to less unemployment. For instance, in Esfahan, the unemployment rate was high enough to impoverish most of the people, so the government decided to build an automobile factory near this town and as a result, many youths of that town became workers of the company with a well-paid salary. My people also are suffering from poverty despite rich resources of iron and gold. Therefore, I suggest building an iron factory near my hometown to eradicate poverty and unemployment problems.
Second, because the essence of working in a factory is built on team working, founding a new company will give a unique chance to people to increase their interaction with each other in a healthy way. For example, research has shown that people who live in industrial cities have healthier mental and physical conditions than those who live in traditional cities. Because every worker has a special responsibility and all of them must do his duty well to produce a high-quality product at the end. For example, in an automobile factory, one division has to work on the engine, and another division has to work on the electrical base of the car. Therefore, every labor has to work carefully and effectively because this is the only way that benefits all of them. In my home town, people have a few interactions with each other, and this issue influences many aspects of our life such as mental health, friendships, collaboration and so on and I think building a new industry near my home town will solve that problem.
In conclusion, according to the above-mentioned reasons, I would prefer to build a new factory in my home town for two reasons. First, it solves poverty and unemployment, and second, it increases collaboration and communication in a compelling way among people.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-06-07 | theprasad | 60 | view |
| 2023-03-16 | ngaliulin | 66 | view |
| 2023-03-15 | joyce05 | 60 | view |
| 2023-03-09 | Alina_irfan | 70 | view |
| 2023-03-08 | Alina_irfan | 60 | view |
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...eficial choice for two main reasons: first, more factories mean more job opportuni...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 184, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a healthy way" with adverb for "healthy"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...rease their interaction with each other in a healthy way. For example, research has shown that p...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 229, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a compelling way" with adverb for "compelling"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...creases collaboration and communication in a compelling way among people.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, second, so, therefore, well, while, as to, for example, for instance, i think, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1837.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 371.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.95148247978 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88841906048 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.530997304582 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 594.0 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 52.6259907076 48.9658058833 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.214285714 100.406767564 131% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5 20.6045352989 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.2142857143 5.45110844103 187% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0686425832683 0.236089414692 29% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0250790131244 0.076458572812 33% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0372687083478 0.0737576698707 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0476764514254 0.150856017488 32% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0189095876029 0.0645574589148 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 11.7677419355 128% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.002688172 150% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.