Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
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Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument claims that Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child based on certain statement, but before claiming this statement, there are certain number of questions will need be answered to reach to this conclusion.
Starting with first question, "Which group of child is mentioned here?", it says Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child, but its not mentioned anywhere that all the children in Elmtown are interested in dancing. What if the 70 percent of the children the town are not interested in dancing and does not want to make a career in the field of dance, then how can Pirouettes Ballet School will be clear choice of any child out there in Elmtown.
Secondly, it says that teachers have danced in the prestigious ballet companies all over the world, but "Were these teachers, good enough in teaching skills and have ever won any recognition in these companies?". Performing and participating in the prestigious ballet companies does not support the fact that the teachers at Pirouettes Ballet School possesses splendid teaching qualities as well, also performing anywhere does not say anything about there skills, as it not mentioned anywhere if they ever won any award or are widely recognised by the companies world-wide.
Lastly, it states that many students have gone on to became professional dancers with top dance companies , but "are these students selected by these top companies, was this selection merit based or if they received any advantage from Pirouettes Ballet School?". Simply stating that their students have gone on to became professional does not provide any evidence that was because of school curriculum or not. Students can simply spend their parents money and get admitted to these top companies and this by no means attract attention of any dance aspirant in Elmtown. If the school is providing any financial aid, or asking companies to help their students, then there could be possibility of any attraction.
So in the nutshell, it could be concluded that, there are many unanswered questions to this argument and it need to be answered before plunging to the claim. If the author have provided more evidence and information to support the claim, it may have been more believable and plausible.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 13 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 374 350
No. of Characters: 1855 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.398 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.96 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.589 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 34 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.081 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.415 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.735 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... answered to reach to this conclusion. Starting with first question, 'Whic...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 396, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'pirouette'
Suggestion: Pirouette
...eer in the field of dance, then how can Pirouettes Ballet School will be clear choice of a...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ice of any child out there in Elmtown. Secondly, it says that teachers have dan...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ecognised by the companies world-wide. Lastly, it states that many students hav...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 111, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ssional dancers with top dance companies , but 'are these students selected b...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ould be possibility of any attraction. So in the nutshell, it could be conclude...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1932.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 374.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16577540107 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81263688062 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.473262032086 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 585.0 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 34.0 22.8473053892 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 67.3120278324 57.8364921388 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 175.636363636 119.503703932 147% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.0 23.324526521 146% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.09090909091 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.401064827173 0.218282227539 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.152861375222 0.0743258471296 206% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0739965494107 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.208130276236 0.128457276422 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0888233935338 0.0628817314937 141% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.9 14.3799401198 138% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.97 48.3550499002 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 12.197005988 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.3 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.66 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 12.3882235529 141% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.6 11.1389221557 140% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.