In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
It is true that modern people have been living comfortably with the improvement of standard of living. However, this have provoked the negative effects such as weight gains as well as curtailed health status. In this essay, I will discuss the possible causes of this phenomenon and suggest some feasible solution.
Two factors may significantly contribute to decreasing public health. The main causes can be considered as the change of sedentary life style. As technology advances, the majority of manual works have been replaced with machines such as dish washer, and factory machine at work. This convenient makes people less active. Another reason for reducing overall health is that the frequency of having unhealthy food. With the hectic life patterns, there are more people of looking junk food because of its convenient and accessibility. This means that people are more likely to be exposed to high intake of oil, salt and sugar, allowing people to obtain more weights.
Nevertheless, this problem can be tackled by two viable measurements. Firstly, governments can educate the public about the importance of healthy lifestyle and the choice of food. Organising health tutorial classes in a community centre can be helpful to increase the awareness of maintaining health status. Secondly, people can be introduced about health campaigns to increase the daily activities, leading to a reduction in weights. To take Denmark as an example, while health education was given, the citizens had been encouraged to participate in a walk and cycling campaign in order to maximise the consumption of high calories. As a result, regular participants could lose the weight and improve the health.
To recapitulate, the modification of life style and diets could be seen as the major reasons for weight gains and weakness. However, this can be resolved by providing proper education on health and making people more active.
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suggest some feasible solution.
suggest some feasible solutions.
This convenient makes people less active.
This convenience makes people less active.
because of its convenient and accessibility.
because of its convenience and accessibility.
Sentence: However, this have provoked the negative effects such as weight gains as well as curtailed health status.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to this and have
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Words: 306 350
No. of Characters: 1576 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.182 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.15 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.705 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.935 7.5
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.483 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5