The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
The youth of today play a vital role in the enhancement of an organization, nation or society as a whole. Eventually, these young minds will take up leadership positions in these mutlple facets of life. Therefore, it is important that we imbie the right virtues in them at a nascent age so that is beneficial for their careers and surroundings. The prompt states that in order to mold its young people for leadership in varied walks of life like government or industry, society should instill them with the idea of cooperation and not one of constant competition. I mostly agree with the prompt that in the long run, a cooperative outlook towards work is beneficial due the following reasons.
To begin, in our constantly evloving 21st century, the singular defination of work has become unclear. Professions have become multi-faceted, needing expertise and acumen from varied fields. It is not like the earlier days where people used to just report to their workplaces, perform their assigned jobs in silos and return back, continuing this monotonous cycle. Today, all walks of life like industry or government are merging into one another. For example, let us take running a multinational bank of example. The workforce in such a modern bank today requires contributions from finance professionals, software engineers, human resources, legal experts, architect and design people; this list can keep expanding. But by this example, we can understand that to achieve success in such a large organization, there has to be cooperation between its distinct fields. Similat pattern can also be seen in running a government. Apart from the apex cabinet, ministers are divided into multiple portfolios like health, welfare, education, energy, finance. Therefore, to run such large insitutions by being a CEO or a Prime Minister of a country, requires cooperation and unity among different verticals.
In addition to the diverse work today, the sheer amount of effort required in today's age has also drastically increased. Even if an individual performs at 100 percent efficiency(which scientifically is impossible) and is an erufite every fathomable field, he or she cannot work in silos, as to achieve a particular target, it will take ages and is impractical. For instance, we can look at the field of scientific research. Reasearch scholars have brilliant ideas to expand their knowledge and thereby proliferating their knowledge to humanity. But they cannot keep ther work to themselves. For example, the recent scientific breakthrough of deciphering the first image of a black-hole, was a singualr idea in a scholar called Katie Bumman. If she wanted, she could work on it herslef and garner all the accolades individually. But apart from such a quixotic idea, researchers gathered their knowledge and under her leadership, she is now a noble laurreate. Therefore, with the unfathomable quanta of effort required to accquire goals, cooperation is the best way to make this achieveable.
But someone might argue that even competition is an important aspect in a person's growth, otherwise someone might become complacent. I agree that competiotion is paramount to provide an indiviual with the constant drive to achieve more in life. But, there is also a negative aspect of competition which is more prevalent. Due to sheer competiton in today's fields, candidates striving for any leadership position, it order to make the cut, tend to resort to unfair and immoral means. This eventually can be detrimental to the same person. Also, excessive competition results in peer pressure, declining mental health and ultimatley lead a frustrated person to take an illogical step like suicide.
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| 2024-10-31 | ekarumeblessing@icloud.com | 79 | view |
| 2024-08-31 | hainess25 | 70 | view |
| 2024-08-28 | Rishab@1999 | 50 | view |
| 2024-07-02 | MMoksha | 66 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 319, Rule ID: RETURN_BACK[1]
Message: Use simply 'return'.
Suggestion: return
...erform their assigned jobs in silos and return back, continuing this monotonous cycle. Toda...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 75, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...competition is an important aspect in a persons growth, otherwise someone might become ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 417, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'orders'?
Suggestion: orders
...triving for any leadership position, it order to make the cut, tend to resort to unfa...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 423, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'making'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'order' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: making
...g for any leadership position, it order to make the cut, tend to resort to unfair and i...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, so, still, therefore, apart from, as to, for example, for instance, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 44.0 33.0505617978 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 58.6224719101 138% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 12.9106741573 155% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3100.0 2235.4752809 139% => OK
No of words: 589.0 442.535393258 133% => OK
Chars per words: 5.26315789474 5.05705443957 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.92639038232 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03915641321 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 325.0 215.323595506 151% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.551782682513 0.4932671777 112% => OK
syllable_count: 979.2 704.065955056 139% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 6.24550561798 224% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 20.2370786517 148% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.0260093518 60.3974514979 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.333333333 118.986275619 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6333333333 23.4991977007 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.56666666667 5.21951772744 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.83258426966 228% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.156083575609 0.243740707755 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0359406215791 0.0831039109588 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0458766346439 0.0758088955206 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0972862454764 0.150359130593 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0555539362824 0.0667264976115 83% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.8420337079 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.23 12.1639044944 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.43 8.38706741573 112% => OK
difficult_words: 181.0 100.480337079 180% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.