The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove.
The argument above is well-presented and appears to be relatively sound at first glance: since the implement of electronic monitoring will reduce workers’ use of the Internet, the author’s assertion on the increased productivity and profits seems credible. However, as more light is shed on the issue and more detailed facts are concerned, the unsubstantiated assumptions lead me to question the validity of the argument.
First of all, the author assumes that electronic monitoring will reduce the amount of time being wasted by employees. The author hastily believes surfing the Internet is the main contributor of reduced work hours. However, it is possible that employees may be wasting time not because they are using the Internet inappropriately but because they are text messaging and talking with their co-workers. In such a case, punishing workers for wasting time on the Internet may not reduce the hours spent on personal and recreational activities. Thus, monitoring the employees’ Internet usage may not engender the increased productivity.
Another assumption the author makes is that the installation of electronic monitoring will improve the workers’ productivity. However, it should be noted that the productivity of workers does not depend on how long they work but contingent upon how efficiently they work. In other words, even though they are enforced to not using Internet, they may use these extra times on other purposes such as napping or text messaging. If this would be a case, the productivity may stay constant or increase by marginal amount at best. Therefore, the effectiveness of the electronic monitoring on productivity can be weakened.
Lastly, the author assumes the soundness of the conclusion the installation of monitoring system will engender profit improvement and foster work ethnic. However, the author should consider the drawbacks of the implementing systems. For example, the cost of installing and maintaining the electronic monitor can be exorbitant that it may significantly increase the expenses of the company. If so, the author’s contention that the company will gain higher profits would be weakened. In addition, employees may feel that electronic monitoring invade privacy and this would results the discouragement of healthy working environment. Therefore, more information needs to be provided to verify the credibility of the conclusion.
In conclusion, the argument is not cogent on many grounds. To bolster the argument, the author should more information on the way working hours are wasted, corroborate the effectiveness of electronic monitoring, and verify the reliability of the conclusion.
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Sentence: In other words, even though they are enforced to not using Internet, they may use these extra times on other purposes such as napping or text messaging.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to to and not
Sentence: In addition, employees may feel that electronic monitoring invade privacy and this would results the discouragement of healthy working environment.
Description: The fragment monitoring invade privacy is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace invade with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to would and results
Sentence: To bolster the argument, the author should more information on the way working hours are wasted, corroborate the effectiveness of electronic monitoring, and verify the reliability of the conclusion.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, post-determiner
Suggestion: Refer to should and more
argument 1 --how did you reach this: 'The author hastily believes surfing the Internet is the main contributor of reduced work hours.' ? Actually it is a waste of time, the question is whether it can prevent employees from wasting time or not.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 407 350
No. of Characters: 2198 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.492 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.4 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.058 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 169 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 140 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.227 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.85 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5