The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet inappropriately from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. Installing software on company computers to detect employees' Internet use is the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this recommendation, the author argues that climpson industries should implement electronic monitoring of employees’ internet use from their workstations to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. Although the argument seems convincing at first, the author has to provide more evidence for the validity of the argument.
first, the author needs to provide solid evidence on causal relationship between punishing employees who use the internet inappropriately and reduction of the number of work hours spent on personal activities. if climpson industries punish the employees, they may spend their time on other inappropriate things without the internet like reading books and useless conversations with coworkers. personal activities that employees can do are various even without internet. it may not be what climpson industries expect as a result of the punishment.
Second, the author needs to supplement the argument with specific evidence that installing software on company computers to detect employees’ internet use is the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. it is plausible that another way is better to prevent employees from wasting time: such as forbidding other sites not involved the work and promising incentives for the work performance. These ways may be also helpful, even better than installing detecting software to prevent employees from wasting time.
Lastly, the author needs to add concrete evidence to the argument that installing the monitoring software will foster a better work ethic at climpson and improve overall profits. it is possible that monitoring and punishing employees demoralizes them. Then employees’ work efficiency might decrease and it means that installing does not foster a better work ethic. even if installing the monitoring software will foster a better work ethic, it is likely that installing does not improve overall profits because expense for installing can override income by employees having a better work ethic. In addition, a better work ethic might not yield more income. So, installing the monitoring software may not be a good way for improvement of profits.
In conclusion, the author's claim is unsound on many grounds. Thus, he should add evidence on good effects of electronic monitoring of employees’ internet use.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 357 350
No. of Characters: 1921 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.381 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.838 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.871 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.917 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.412 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.687 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.177 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In this recommendation, the author argue...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... for the validity of the argument. first, the author needs to provide solid...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 19, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...of the argument. first, the author needs to provide solid evid...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 229, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ork hours spent on personal activities. if climpson industries punish the employee...
^^
Line 5, column 412, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Personal
...d useless conversations with coworkers. personal activities that employees can do are va...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 489, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...n do are various even without internet. it may not be what climpson industries exp...
^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ect as a result of the punishment. Second, the author needs to supplement t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 246, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...employees from wasting time on the job. it is plausible that another way is better...
^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...event employees from wasting time. Lastly, the author needs to add concrete...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 198, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...t climpson and improve overall profits. it is possible that monitoring and punishi...
^^
Line 13, column 389, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Even
...ng does not foster a better work ethic. even if installing the monitoring software w...
^^^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...od way for improvement of profits. In conclusion, the authors claim is unso...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, lastly, may, second, so, then, thus, as for, as to, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1998.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 357.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.59663865546 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34677393335 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03062851201 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 204.123752495 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.453781512605 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 600.3 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.0351684705 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.529411765 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.88235294118 5.70786347227 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.16125747942 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0653768184908 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0441508683486 0.0701772020484 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.106741425991 0.128457276422 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0336952365921 0.0628817314937 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.2 12.5979740519 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 98.500998004 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.