Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sick days than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover, relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton. According to the Leeville Chamber of Commerce, these facts can be attributed to the health benefits of the relatively relaxed pace of life in Leeville.
In the given excerpt, the author is comparing the health of residents of town of Leeville with the residents of larger city of Masonton. However, the author has failed to provide required reasoning that prove the genuineness of the claims made. There are a number of weak links that can weaken the provided arguments of the author.
Firstly, the author has provided no concrete ground for the comparison he/she has made between the sick leave taken by workers of Leeville and Masonton. The writer is pointing out that the workers of the former town take fewer sick leaves than the workers of latter. But, there is no mention of any genuine statistical survey or research that would prove the claim. How can one derive such a conclusion without providing any proper statistical data?
Also, there is no mention of job background of the workers. The statement of author is too generalized. The field or working background of workers might be different in both the places. The condition of workplace may also play a major role in defining health of workers. The jobs in Masonton might be more stressful than the jobs in Leeville. It is clearly not mentioned that the workers of both the destinations have same working background. Workers are not the only patients of stress-realted illness. Retired citizens and even unemployeed can also experience stress-related illness.
Secondly, the author is claiming that the diagnosis of stress-related illness is much lower in Leevile than the Masonton. Again, the author has failed to provide genuine proofs of the above claim. How can one directly attribute stress-related illness to the working background? Sometimes personal problems might plays its own role in developing stress-related illness. Also, the diagnosis data depends on the number of people approaching the health centres. What if fewer number of people are approaching for the diagnosis of stress-related illness in the town of Leeville.
At last, the author is citing the claim of Leeville Chmaber of Commerece, who attributed the above claim to the more relaxed pace of life in Leeville. But, how can anyone compare pace of life with the stress-related illness? Even with a steady pace of life, one might develop stress-related illness. Sometimes, just a few hours of work can produce more stress than the continous full day work. The author has not given required reasonings to prove his/her point more impactfully.
Hence, from the above arguments one can conclude that the claim of author is too weak to accept. More facts and reasoning are required to be provided. The comparison of stress-related sickness between two centres must be made while keeping a wide ange of possibilities in mind. Also, by mere comparison of stress level of workers, one cannot not derive that the health benifits of relatively relaxed pace of life of entire town.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 187, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... might be different in both the places. The condition of workplace may also play a ...
^^^
Line 3, column 272, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...jor role in defining health of workers. The jobs in Masonton might be more stressfu...
^^^
Line 6, column 429, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ly relaxed pace of life of entire town.
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2391.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 470.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08723404255 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65612321451 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83629790139 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.448936170213 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 740.7 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.0208057621 57.8364921388 48% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 79.7 119.503703932 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.6666666667 23.324526521 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.63333333333 5.70786347227 46% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 18.0 6.88822355289 261% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.275897668628 0.218282227539 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0740225326446 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0828299171299 0.0701772020484 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.146380605415 0.128457276422 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0628125346448 0.0628817314937 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.3550499002 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 187, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... might be different in both the places. The condition of workplace may also play a ...
^^^
Line 3, column 272, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...jor role in defining health of workers. The jobs in Masonton might be more stressfu...
^^^
Line 6, column 429, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ly relaxed pace of life of entire town.
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2391.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 470.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08723404255 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65612321451 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83629790139 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.448936170213 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 740.7 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.0208057621 57.8364921388 48% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 79.7 119.503703932 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.6666666667 23.324526521 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.63333333333 5.70786347227 46% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 18.0 6.88822355289 261% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.275897668628 0.218282227539 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0740225326446 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0828299171299 0.0701772020484 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.146380605415 0.128457276422 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0628125346448 0.0628817314937 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.3550499002 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.