Claim: The surest indicator of a great nation must be the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists.
Reason: Great achievements by a nation's rulers, artists, or scientists will ensure a good life for the majority of that nation's people.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.
It is popularly believed that great achievements of nation's rulers, artists and scholars will guarantee well-being of majority of the nation. Although this viewpoint has many proponents, I cannot accept it due to the fact that history of mankind has demonstrated that it is not always true. Consequently, I cannot concur with the claim which asserts that governors, artists and scientists achievements are the best criteria of a great nation because as far as I am concerned a great nation is one which citizens are prosper and thrive.
To begin with, as I said above, it is a widespread belief that achievements of national rulers, artists and scientists inevitably bring prosperity to majority of population which, in fact, is not always correct. For example, we can take a look at Renaissance which is considered as one of the brightest pages of mankind history because this period was connected with greatest artists such as Leonardo da Vinci and Rembrandt, great scientific achievements and inventions such as telescope and creation of heliocentric theory. However, all of those achievements were used by noble and rich aristocracy to increase their wealth and social position. By contrast, the majority of people were deprived on those achievements. In other words, the benefits of the great period did not affect the whole population but the thin layer of aristocracy.
Consequently, there is the question, may we aver that the achievements of nation's rulers, artists and scholars is the surest indicator of a great nation? As usual, there is not simple answer on this question due to the fact that a great nation ought to have the great achievements because they are crucial to strength the states' economy and political weight. For instance, the Great Britain became an empire due to technological achievement of its scientists which gave it a serious advantage over rivals, for instance, the invention of steam engine and its wide usage in ships made the empire superior to its rivals who did not possess such technology.
At the same time, not all nations which have great scientific achievement may be seen as great ones because as far as I am concerned a great nation ought to reassure the well-being of its citizens. From this viewpoint, if a nation has seriously advanced in arts or/and science but has failed to ensure a good life for the majority of the citizens it should not be considered as a great nation. For example, tsar's Russia had a great number of scientists and artists whose works are well-known around the world such as Tolstoy and his great book the War and Peace failed to improve life conditions of its citizens. Consequently, the country cannot be seen as a great nation. By contrast, the Great Britain ensured a good life of its people at least on the mainland.
In conclusion, many of us believe that achievements of national rulers not only guarantee prosperity of the nation but also they are the best indicator of nation’s greatness. However, we have demonstrated that the achievements do not always lead to prosperity of the whole population; consequently, we cannot aver the achievements as the best criteria of greatness because a great nation ought to ensure well-being of its general population.
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Sentence: Consequently, I cannot concur with the claim which asserts that governors, artists and scientists achievements are the best criteria of a great nation because as far as I am concerned a great nation is one which citizens are prosper and thrive.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to scientists and achievements
there is not simple answer
there is no simple answer
flaws:
Not organized so well on the arguments. Better to outline like this:
1. Admittedly, great achievement can enhance a nations' greatness.
2. however, there is no direct relation between Great achievements and good life.
3. The achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists is only one of the indicators. The surest indicator should be the well-being of people.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 539 350
No. of Characters: 2651 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.818 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.918 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.836 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 197 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.944 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.602 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.381 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5