The following appeared in a memo from a budget planner for the city of Grandview.
"It is time for the city of Grandview to stop funding the Grandview Symphony Orchestra. It is true that the symphony struggled financially for many years, but last year private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. In addition, the symphony has just announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. For these reasons, we recommend that the city eliminate funding for the Grandview Symphony Orchestra from next year's budget. We predict that the symphony will flourish in the years to come even without funding from the city."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The memo indicates that the Grandview Symphony Orchestra received a large donation, good sales in the last year, and the increment of ticket prices in the next year. The budget planner concludes that the government should stop fund the Grandview Symphony Orchestra. However, there are some questions in the argument rendering the argument a little unconvincing.
First of all, the memo mentions that the private donation bolstered to 200 percent. Nevertheless, there is no information to demonstrate that 200 percent is a large amount of money. It depends on the previous donation. It is possible that the previous donation was only one dollar, and 200 percent is 200 dollars, which is completely insufficient to a Symphony Orchestra. Therefore, to fairly assess the recommendation, the author should bring the exact donation amount of the previous years.
Moreover, the writer cites that the attendance doubled, which implies they earned enough money. Nonetheless, this judgment also depends on the previous sales. Probably, the Grandview Symphony Orchestra solely sold one or two tickets in the previous concerts. Then, even if their concerts-in-the-park series sold two times as before, they only sold two to four tickets, which was also not a good sale. The author should provide more precise evidence to demonstrate that they had a good sale and argue that the Grandview Symphony Orchestra has the ability to make adequate money by themselves.
Finally, the memo points out that the Grandview Symphony Orchestra ticket prices will incline in the next year. Notwithstanding, there is no causal evidence to prove that the Grandview Symphony Orchestra would have good sales and earn adequate money in the next year. Perhaps, they raise the ticket prices since they are lacking funding and they have to increase the prices without other choices to gain more money. The tickets of higher prices cannot evince they would gain ample wealth in the next year.
To wisely appraise the budget allotted to the Grandview Symphony Orchestra, the author should answer the questions about the previous sales as well as attendance of the Grandview Symphony Orchestra. Besides, the causal information to prove the good sale in the next year should be offered, too.
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argument 1 and argument 2 should be put in one argument
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
Always need to argue against the conclusion. For this topic it is:
'For these reasons, we recommend that the city eliminate funding for the Grandview Symphony Orchestra from next year's budget. We predict that the symphony will flourish in the years to come even without funding from the city.'
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for argument 1:
It is true that the symphony struggled financially for many years, but last year private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled.
for argument 2:
In addition, the symphony has just announced an increase in ticket prices for next year.
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be careful to : 'attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled'. Maybe tickets are free.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Words: 361 350
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.114 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.928 7.5
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.363 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.575 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5