GRE Issue:
The best ideas arise from a passionate interest in commonplace things.
A great concept which related to usual things does not need to be inspired by rare experiences to inspire. It can be discovered in normal things and it would be a wonderful perception since it has bear to normal life. A discussion of awesome notion is essential since this world always expects new inventions and concepts which can improve people's life. I agree that ideas come from mundane life could be powerful to change everyone's life since a large group of people could be benefited, value little things, and change everyone's life.
First of all, a great notion discovered from normal things could benefit normal people, which mean many people. In contrast, if a creation, like high speed personal plane, which only improve wealthy people's life, then it only benefits a little portion of human beings. Furthermore, most wealthy people already possess high living standard than normal people. They do not need a beautiful life as much as normal people. Therefore, aiding normal groups could help higher amount of humans than facilitating minor groups.
Secondly, a wonderful perception which gained by enthusiasm of little things could alter everyone's mind to the little things. Little things tend to be regarded as not important, not useful, and would not really help anyone. However, it could play an important role even though it is little. To illustrate, people in the past might think solely affluent people donate money could aid people in poverty. A Chinese celebrity proposed that we could assemble a large proportion of wealth easily from many people but donates a dollar only. If there are one billion people who can offer one dollar donation, we could gather one billion easily. Therefore, a little thing could change people's mind and life.
Finally, a little change in people's life could alter human beings living pattern a lot. For instance, the advent of cell phones which allow old-fashioned telephones to be portable reshape people's needs and living pattern. Current people evaluate cell phones as essential living things and attach to them every day. On the contrary, less people focus on how amazing that the heart from the pig could be put into a monkey's body successfully.
To sum up, an alteration in normal and daily life may be deemed as less, but having compelling influence to all human beings. Not only a large proportion of people benefit but also world's mind as well as trend could be altered.
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Comments
Not only world's mind but
Not only world's mind but also trends could be altered.
A large proportion of people would benefit from a small change in daily life.
a wonderful perception which gained by enthusiasm of little things could alter everyone's mind
a wonderful perception gained by enthusiasm of little things could alter everyone's mind
a wonderful perception which is gained by enthusiasm of little things could alter everyone's mind
Not only a large proportion of people benefit but also world's mind as well as trend could be altered.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
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arguments: OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 405 350
No. of Characters: 1983 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.486 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.896 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.398 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.409 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.896 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.155 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5