One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting, and another study has shown that many high school students in our city are actually dissatisfied with their own academic performance. As a way of combating these problems, the high schools in our city should begin classes at 8:30 A.M. instead of 7:30 A.M., and end the school day an hour later. This arrangement will give students an extra hour of sleep in the morning, thereby making them more alert and more productive. Consequently, the students will perform better on tests and other assignments, and their academic skills will improve significantly
In this letter, the writer recommends that to enhance academic performance, the high schools of the city must start operating an hour later than usual and close one hour later to allow students to sleep an hour more in the morning and be more productive. To support this recommendation, a clue from the recent study which shows that adolescents need more sleep than they are getting. Moreover, students are dissatisfied with their own performance. With more sleep and sufficient rest are bound to perform better. However, this recommendation cannot be accepted as it is in that it rests on some premises all of which can be challenged in one way or another.
The first problem with the argument is that the writer refers to a study but does not indicate how many people took part in the study. As you know, in research studies the greater the number of individuals is more reliable and accurate. Maybe in this study, only ten people participated; hence, the findings are neither reliable nor valid. Even if it is assumed that enough people participated in the sample, there is still another problem with the sample. In a research study, the findings can be generalized to the target population in terms age, sex, social class, cultural and so forth; however, in this argument there is no evidence to show whether used to the target population.
Secondly, it would be incorrect to relate the lack of sleep amongst adolescents with their academic performance. There could be other reasons that led to a diminished academic performance of these students. It is possible that they are guided in the correct direction by their teachers. It is also possible that instead of devoting time to studies they have been engaged in other activities like sports, inter-school competitions and so forth. It is then evident that the reason behind their slacked academic performance is other than just lack of sleep.
Another problem is that if the students need more time to sleep, delaying the opening time of school is not the solution. It needs to be seen why adolescents are not getting enough sleep. It is likely that adolescents are sleeping late because of other engagements. They could be attending gatherings, parties or late night clubs. They could also be watching late night movies and television, or working on the computer. In order be fresh and active in the morning they must practice sleeping early the night before. The schools need not change their time due to some late sleepers, but the students should change their routine and adjust to sleeping soon.
- For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal faciliti 35
- One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting, and another study has shown that many high school students in our city are actually dissatisfied with their own academic performance. As a way of combatin 75
- For the past five years Mr Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions In addition the quality of the music rehearsal facilities an 35
- Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookv 66
- "For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilit 35
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In this letter, the writer recommends th...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... be challenged in one way or another. The first problem with the argument is t...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...whether used to the target population. Secondly, it would be incorrect to relat...
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Line 3, column 448, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...inter-school competitions and so forth. It is then evident that the reason behind ...
^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nce is other than just lack of sleep. Another problem is that if the students ...
^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'still', 'then', 'you know']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.211740041929 0.25644967241 83% => OK
Verbs: 0.16142557652 0.15541462614 104% => OK
Adjectives: 0.102725366876 0.0836205057962 123% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0607966457023 0.0520304965353 117% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0461215932914 0.0272364105082 169% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.115303983229 0.125424944231 92% => OK
Participles: 0.0482180293501 0.0416121511921 116% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.67093019348 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0335429769392 0.026700313972 126% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.100628930818 0.113004496875 89% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0230607966457 0.0255425247493 90% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0104821802935 0.0127820249294 82% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2576.0 2731.13054187 94% => OK
No of words: 432.0 446.07635468 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.96296296296 6.12365571057 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55901411391 4.57801047555 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.347222222222 0.378187486979 92% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.259259259259 0.287650121315 90% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.173611111111 0.208842608468 83% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0949074074074 0.135150697306 70% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67093019348 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 207.018472906 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490740740741 0.469332199767 105% => OK
Word variations: 54.7114226063 52.1807786196 105% => OK
How many sentences: 22.0 20.039408867 110% => OK
Sentence length: 19.6363636364 23.2022227129 85% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.5514339184 57.7814097925 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.090909091 141.986410481 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6363636364 23.2022227129 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.636363636364 0.724660767414 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.14285714286 78% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 3.58251231527 140% => OK
Readability: 45.5622895623 51.9672348444 88% => OK
Elegance: 1.3984375 1.8405768891 76% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.299262428607 0.441005458295 68% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.131655188049 0.135418324435 97% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0758836330812 0.0829849096947 91% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.494382990502 0.58762219726 84% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.132377844541 0.147661913831 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.12471936157 0.193483328276 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0625374845524 0.0970749176394 64% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.369255159518 0.42659136922 87% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0455293141742 0.0774707102158 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.221871474536 0.312017818177 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0786990503024 0.0698173142475 113% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.33743842365 96% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.87684729064 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.82512315271 124% => OK
Positive topic words: 5.0 6.46551724138 77% => OK
Negative topic words: 8.0 5.36822660099 149% => OK
Neutral topic words: 6.0 2.82389162562 212% => OK
Total topic words: 19.0 14.657635468 130% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.