When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.
During the last century, science and technology has expanded to a great extent. As a nation focuses more in technology, it is true that the conventional skills and previous lifestyle vanishes. I strongly agree that there is no point in retaining them. This can be proven by analysing how technology can save a lot of time as well as be accurate enough.
It is apparent that the latest machines can do a lot of work with minimal time. For instance, in a construction industry, a crane can lift a block of heavy materials within a fraction of minute. By using the traditional skills, it will take at least a day to uplift bulky items to the top of a building. Thus, it is obvious that it makes no sense on focusing on previous skills and ways. Similarly when automated machines can sew more than thousands of clothes, there is no point to involve manual labour to produce only hundred per day!
It is a fact that almost all industries prefer computers for account related tasks as they are very much accurate and faster. For example, consider a bank which has to calculate the turnover for its past decade. By using a software it would be possible to get the exact value. Even though there are a lot of algorithms used by old generation, it is not guaranteed that the calculation will be so precise and faster. Hence it is clear that there is no much benefit in focusing on traditional expertise.
By analysing how science has helped in getting the work done faster with precise results, it is very clear that there is no much advantage in retaining old skills and life style. It is considered that the community will create this awareness among the masses.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
science and technology has expanded
science and technology have expanded
conventional skills and previous lifestyle vanishes
conventional skills and previous lifestyles vanish
flaws:
1. The example in the third paragraph is somehow duplicated to the example in the second paragraph. Software are run by machine too.
2. Need one more paragraph for the advantages for traditional skills. Always talk in both sides. Like this:
paragraph 1: introduction. Your ideas/opinions here.
paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...
paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example for reason 1 + a small conclusion for reason 1.
paragraph 4: In addition, reason 2 + why reason 2 + example for reason 2+ a small conclusion for reason 2.
paragraph 5: conclusion.
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read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/when-country-develops-its-technolog…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 296 350
No. of Characters: 1331 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.148 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.497 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.551 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.477 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.504 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.064 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 389, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Similarly,
...n focusing on previous skills and ways. Similarly when automated machines can sew more th...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 418, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ulation will be so precise and faster. Hence it is clear that there is no much benef...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 450, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...aster. Hence it is clear that there is no much benefit in focusing on traditional...
^^
Line 7, column 122, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...results, it is very clear that there is no much advantage in retaining old skills ...
^^
Discourse Markers used:
['hence', 'if', 'similarly', 'so', 'thus', 'well', 'as to', 'at least', 'for example', 'for instance', 'as well as', 'it is true', 'to a great extent']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.208074534161 0.247107183377 84% => OK
Verbs: 0.170807453416 0.155533422707 110% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0993788819876 0.0946595960268 105% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0527950310559 0.0501214627716 105% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0465838509317 0.0437548338989 106% => OK
Prepositions: 0.142857142857 0.122226691241 117% => OK
Participles: 0.0527950310559 0.0403226058552 131% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.63031220112 2.80594681477 94% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0217391304348 0.0326793684256 67% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00163938923432 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.10248447205 0.0861772015684 119% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.027950310559 0.021408717616 131% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0124223602484 0.011925033212 104% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1664.0 1933.35771543 86% => OK
No of words: 296.0 316.048096192 94% => OK
Chars per words: 5.62162162162 6.12580529183 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14784890444 4.20517956788 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.314189189189 0.374742101984 84% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.25 0.28420135186 88% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.175675675676 0.203846283523 86% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.108108108108 0.137316102897 79% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63031220112 2.80594681477 94% => OK
Unique words: 163.0 176.037074148 93% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.550675675676 0.56093040696 98% => OK
Word variations: 57.0716059468 60.7387585426 94% => OK
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0891783567 99% => OK
Sentence length: 18.5 20.7743622355 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.4920004723 49.517814964 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.0 127.492653851 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5 20.7743622355 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.8125 0.814263465372 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38877755511 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 3.99599198397 100% => OK
Readability: 43.5 49.1944974215 88% => OK
Elegance: 1.49425287356 1.69124875643 88% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.327184185403 0.332605444948 98% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.100259146355 0.102741220458 98% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0750573136303 0.0668466124924 112% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.484539339885 0.534860350844 91% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.122962076064 0.148594505496 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.123385608087 0.134430193775 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0504505212571 0.0742795772207 68% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.348529834152 0.324371583561 107% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0483623632071 0.0638462369009 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.222902900802 0.228012699653 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0311633040247 0.058150111329 54% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.68436873747 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.41683366733 117% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 5.90881763527 118% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 2.5751503006 39% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 1.9629258517 102% => OK
Total topic words: 10.0 10.4468937876 96% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.