The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries claims that by monitoring internet use of employees on their workstations will improve productivity and overall profits. However on deeper analysis, there are certain important questions unanswered and facts unnoticed leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
First of all, the vice president attempts to bridge a relationship between the fact that if employees would be monitored there will be a higher productivity. Of course, if employees are monitored the tendency to play video games is less but you can’t say that because of control internet use employees work harder. It may happen that employees are having more small talks, increase their toilet visit, are looking often out of the window or taking longer breaks if they don’t waste time by checking personal interest on the internet. It is proved that employees who experience a great trust of their boss work harder, in that case will internet control have the opposite effect.
Secondly, the author make an assumption to say that by control their employees on the internet use the profits will increase. Profits are related to much variable factors. It is to bluntly to relate internet use and profits directly to each other. If employees do not have the time to relax for a few minutes by checking their personal activities, they will work less hard for hours.
It is also not proven that employees at Climpson Industries use their workstations on personal or recreational activities. In this case control of activities will not lead to any improvement and give all the hard working employees a feeling of distrust. In addition, they may also get a feeling of not having any privacy at all.
To conclude, the writer of the article has drawn a dubious conclusion, it may be likely that employees work harder if they are controlled but the argument lacks information and seems to provide inchoate assumptions. The report must have presented more concrete evidence to substantiate the claim and make the argument more cogent.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 147, Rule ID: TO_TOO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
...fits will increase. Profits are related to much variable factors. It is to bluntly...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, in addition, of course, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1753.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 340.0 441.139720559 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15588235294 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29407602571 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79568841297 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.523529411765 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 539.1 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.7153597446 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.866666667 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6666666667 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.276618675981 0.218282227539 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0941817204305 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.089264355598 0.0701772020484 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147247053573 0.128457276422 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0808182401213 0.0628817314937 129% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.86 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.