The author claims here that an investment in Consolidated Industries, a major heating oil retailer, will pay off since in the region, most homes are heated with oil and a recent population growth with increase the demand of heating oil and, therefore, the price will increase proportiunally. Stated in this way, the argument reveals several instances of poor reasoning and ill-defined terminology. To justify this conclusion, the author notes that the weather is predicted to remain stable for the next years, so that all houses will continue to use heating oil in the future. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that the heating systems of the new houses is not set yet and that the oil will maintain the same taxation in the future even though it is condidered as a resource polluting the air when burned. Hence, the argument can be considered incomplete or unsubstantiated.
First, the argument readily assumes that the recent population growth will lead to a higher demand of heating oil. This is merely an assumption made without much solid ground. For example, it is not stated whether new build houses will use the traditional, but ecologically bad oil as a fuel for heating. Since the climate change is internationally accepted as a thread for the world’s population, new build houses could use alternative heating solutions such as photovoltaic systems or geothermal energy. Furthermore it is not stated if the people moving into the region initially come from an even colder region, thus the overall demand of oil could actually decrease. Consequently, it is pretty obvious that an increasing demand of oil is not warranted and, therefore, an rising oilprice along with a better standing for Consolidated Industries is not certain.
Secondly, the argument claims that through stable weather conditions and increasing population, the oilprice will not change or that Consolidated Industries will benefit from that. This again is a weak and unsupported claim as it does not demonstate any evidence of that to happen. To illustrate further, through the pollution from widespread heating fired with oil, the government could likely increase taxes for that resource which increases the price and decreases the demand. The personal opinion to use “clean-energy” and govermental actions to prevent more non-renewable energies to be used then could significantly lower the use of oil which directly affects the industry around it. Thus, a stable oil price and demand for oil is not proved which makes the investment insecure.
In conclusion, the arguemnt is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strenthened if the author clearly meantioned all the relevant facts or made assumtions about the future based on scientific studies. Without this information, the claim remains unsubstantiated and open for debate.
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Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The author claims here that an investment in Consolidated Industries, a major heating oil retailer, will pay off since in the region, most homes are heated with oil and a recent population growth with increase the demand of heating oil and, therefore, the price will increase proportiunally.
Error: proportiunally Suggestion: proportionally
Sentence: However, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that the heating systems of the new houses is not set yet and that the oil will maintain the same taxation in the future even though it is condidered as a resource polluting the air when burned.
Error: condidered Suggestion: considered
Sentence: Since the climate change is internationally accepted as a thread for the world's population, new build houses could use alternative heating solutions such as photovoltaic systems or geothermal energy.
Error: photovoltaic Suggestion: photographic
Error: geothermal Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Consequently, it is pretty obvious that an increasing demand of oil is not warranted and, therefore, an rising oilprice along with a better standing for Consolidated Industries is not certain.
Error: oilprice Suggestion: price
Sentence: Secondly, the argument claims that through stable weather conditions and increasing population, the oilprice will not change or that Consolidated Industries will benefit from that.
Error: oilprice Suggestion: price
Sentence: This again is a weak and unsupported claim as it does not demonstate any evidence of that to happen.
Error: demonstate Suggestion: demonstrate
Sentence: The personal opinion to use clean-energy and govermental actions to prevent more non-renewable energies to be used then could significantly lower the use of oil which directly affects the industry around it.
Error: non-renewable Suggestion: non renewable
Error: govermental Suggestion: governmental
Error: clean-energy Suggestion: clean energy
Sentence: In conclusion, the arguemnt is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing.
Error: arguemnt Suggestion: argument
Sentence: It could be considerably strenthened if the author clearly meantioned all the relevant facts or made assumtions about the future based on scientific studies.
Error: strenthened Suggestion: strengthened
Error: assumtions Suggestion: assumptions
Error: meantioned Suggestion: mentioned
----------------
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
----------------
flaws:
for GRE argument essays, minimum three arguments wanted.
and the introduction paragraph is too long.
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 457 350
No. of Characters: 2377 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.624 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.201 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.926 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 189 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.339 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.491 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.056 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 512, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...tovoltaic systems or geothermal energy. Furthermore it is not stated if the people moving i...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 778, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...of oil is not warranted and, therefore, an rising oilprice along with a better sta...
^^
Line 5, column 485, Rule ID: PERSONAL_OPINION_FRIENDSHIP[1]
Message: Use simply 'opinion'.
Suggestion: opinion
...the price and decreases the demand. The personal opinion to use 'clean-energy' and gov...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 677, Rule ID: NOUN_AROUND_IT[1]
Message: Consider using 'the surrounding industry'?
Suggestion: the surrounding industry
...r the use of oil which directly affects the industry around it. Thus, a stable oil price and demand fo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, consequently, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2452.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 457.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.36542669584 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62358717085 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.13230391269 2.78398813304 113% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.498905908096 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 758.7 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.4223395625 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.052631579 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0526315789 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.84210526316 5.70786347227 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.18444909075 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.059138684939 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0532335760337 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115997443203 0.128457276422 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0338506901334 0.0628817314937 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.32 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 130.0 98.500998004 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.