The following appeared in an e-mail sent by the marketing director of the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville.
"Over the past ten years, there has been a 20 percent decline in the size of the average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions. In spite of increased advertising, we are attracting fewer and fewer people to our shows, causing our profits to decrease significantly. We must take action to attract new audience members. The best way to do so is by instituting a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program this summer. Two years ago the nearby Avon Repertory Company started a 'Free Plays in the Park' program, and its profits have increased 10 percent since then. Therefore, I recommend that we start a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program of our own. If we do so, I predict that our profits will also see a significant increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The marketing director of the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville recommended to institute a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program based on the sucess gained by Avon Repertory Company from their 'Free Plays in the Park' program. The author of this argument assumes that the decline in the size of the average audience is due to less people being attracted to their shows despite increasing their advertisements. The author's recommendation is based on false assumptions and rife with holes, therefore, making it necessary to answer following three questions before a recommendation can be made.
First, why were the advertisements ineffective in attracting people in the shows? Furthermore, it is not even apparent whether the advertisements were indeed targetted to the correct audience. There are a lot of unaccounted factors involved which could have a direct influence on the number of audience attracted by the advertisement. It is possible that the advertisements were directed to wrong mass; if the right audience are not aware of the shows they want to see, the advertisements would automatically become meaningless. In addition to this, the author's assertion on the efficacy of advertisements in attracting audience is neither based upon a statistical study nor transparent enough to convey that the handful of audience that indeed came to watch the show were not due to the advertisement. It is, therefore, essential to examine the efficacy of the advertisement more thoroughly in order for the recommendation to produce a predicted result.
Second, is it accurate to compare the two programs in two different theatres? The author's recommendation is highly based on the success of the program in another company; the very company which might be entirely different from the author's company in terms of their audience, investment, management, and overall popularity. It is highly likely that the success of the other company was brought about by their initial status in the market as well as they could have incurred a loss in real and potentially revealed it as a profit to trap their competitors. The author's argument is, thereby based on fallacies and not well articulated to support his recommendation.
However, even if it is considered that the two programs are similar and might have some merit to the author's company as well, how can we compare the program from two years to current scenario? It has been proven that people and their views are fickle and it doesn't take much time for a particuar fashion to be obsolete and get replaced by another in current era. Therefore, it would be a grave mistake to view the audiences in the same light even after two years. If this hold merit, then the author's argument doesn't hold water.
In conclusion, as we stand now, the author's recommendation if severely flawed and based on unwarranted assumptions. It is essential to proceed with a scientific study to gather more statistical data on the efficiency of advertisements and strategize better for their own audience rather than comparing with other companies. If above questions can be answered, the author's recommendation can potentially bring about intended results.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 515 350
No. of Characters: 2627 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.764 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.101 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.075 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 186 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 156 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 115 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 74 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.266 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.539 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 74, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommended instituting'.
Suggestion: recommended instituting
...ssical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville recommended to institute a Shakespeare in the Park program based...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 328, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... size of the average audience is due to less people being attracted to their shows d...
^^^^
Line 1, column 412, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...espite increasing their advertisements. The authors recommendation is based on fals...
^^^
Line 1, column 416, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...te increasing their advertisements. The authors recommendation is based on false assump...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 555, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...e meaningless. In addition to this, the authors assertion on the efficacy of advertisem...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 83, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...programs in two different theatres? The authors recommendation is highly based on the s...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 560, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...a profit to trap their competitors. The authors argument is, thereby based on fallacies...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 259, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...eople and their views are fickle and it doesnt take much time for a particuar fashion ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 494, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...two years. If this hold merit, then the authors argument doesnt hold water. In concl...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 511, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...s hold merit, then the authors argument doesnt hold water. In conclusion, as we sta...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 37, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... In conclusion, as we stand now, the authors recommendation if severely flawed and b...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 365, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...If above questions can be answered, the authors recommendation can potentially bring ab...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, however, if, second, so, then, therefore, well, in addition, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2676.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 513.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.21637426901 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.13174259963 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.473684210526 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 855.0 705.55239521 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.5812680295 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.8 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.65 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.3 5.70786347227 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0978509359338 0.218282227539 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0280623257522 0.0743258471296 38% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0492842047497 0.0701772020484 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0572698245558 0.128457276422 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0663683194599 0.0628817314937 106% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.3550499002 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.