The author of this article argues that the deterioration of physical fitness of Corpora's citizens is mostly caused by the recent decline in the economy, not by using computers. While, at first glance, this argument may seem convincing, several critical flaws of the assumptions the writer relies on make it unconvincing.
First, according to the medical experts in Corpora, health conditions of Corpora's citizens have become worse over the past twenty years. This observation is based on the conspicuous decrease in the rate of those with adequate physical fitness. Here, the medical experts assume that the population in Corpora has not significantly changed for twenty years, and the author also accepts this assumption without doubt. However, in all likelihood, Corpora might experience its population growth, and in this case, we cannot know whether the absolute number of people with standard physical fitness have increased or decreased over the twenty years. In some cases, it is possible that one-quarter of current Corpora’s citizens outnumbers one-half of twenty years ago. Then, the health conditions of Corpora are rather improved. Thus, in order to say that the current health conditions of Corpora's citizens have deteriorated, more detailed numeric data need to be presented.
The second assumption on which the author relies is that those who have their own computers spend much more time using computers. Debunking the cause that the medical experts put forward, the author claim that the major cause of the decline in fitness in Corpora is overuse of computers. The fact that people in the regions where rate of having computers is high are reported as healthier seems to demonstrate the author’s claim; however, the correlation between ownership of computers and degree of using computers is very weak. For example, it is entirely possible to have computers just to surf the Internet sometimes or make appointment with a doctor. In these cases, despite of having computers, the actual time to spend using computers may not be substantial; thus, the author needs to provide additional data to logically reject the time of using computers as the major cause.
Lastly, the author concludes that the major cause of recent decline in fitness in Corpora is attributed to the recent recession of the economy, and thus fitness will be improve with the recovery of the economy. Plus, the author mentions the low expenditures on fitness-related products and services of this year as evidence. This conclusion is dependent on the assumption that the degree of expenditure in area of fitness represent the entire economic condition in Corpora. However, only with the low expenditure of fitness-related products and services, we cannot know whether the economy is bad or not. Moreover, even though it is true that the economy is indeed bad, there could be various reasons that people reduce the spend for fitness; for instance, contrary to the suggestion of this article, citizens may not need to spend much money for their fitness because they already become healthy enough.
To sum up, the argument of this article is not convincing in many respects. Above all, it relies too much on flimsy assumptions. To strengthen the argument, the author should add more specific and strong statistics to fill these lacunae.
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Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 534 350
No. of Characters: 2726 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.807 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.105 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.666 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 217 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 163 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.928 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 721, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...d be various reasons that people reduce the spend for fitness; for instance, contrary to ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, second, so, then, thus, while, for example, for instance, in some cases, it is true, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 55.5748502994 146% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2803.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 534.0 441.139720559 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24906367041 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80712388197 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77567258807 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.470037453184 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 882.9 705.55239521 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.0216902943 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.409090909 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2727272727 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.72727272727 5.70786347227 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.23567434556 0.218282227539 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0737868936604 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.097815392756 0.0701772020484 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113199818497 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.133069022074 0.0628817314937 212% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 128.0 98.500998004 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.