The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Health Naturally, a small but expanding chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Our previous experience has been that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build one of our new stores in Plainsville, which clearly has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise equipment are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight-training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a program called Fitness for Life, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.“
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
According to the memorandum the author argues that Health Naturally should expand chain of stores in Plainville which residents are higly concerned with healthy lives, since their previous stores has been most profitable in areas where residents are higly interested in healthy lives. The author’s assumptions seems convincing at first, however, there are errors in the assumptions.
First, the author assumes, since merchants report about Plainsville’s sales of running shoes increased that their stores might make their profits. The author should consider that it is too hasty to judge that people exercise are interested in healthy life, also. It is plausible that people are interested in healthy life are likely to work out but exercise does not mean they are concerned with healthy lives. Thus, increased sales of running shoes and exercise equipment in Plainville, according to the merchants report, does not demonstrate that residents are leading healthy lives, it is possible that they relish their leisure time not to improve their health but to relish sports.
Second, the assumptions about recently increased number of the health club member should be contemplated by the author. The increased health club member is due to the resuscitation of the economy not becauses of the their increased health interests. It is plausible that economy condition of last 5 years might be bad that people cannot workout. Even if the residents who pay for the gym are interested in healthy lives, the number of the residents might be not sufficient enough to increase the stores profit.
Third, the students who participated in Fitness for Life program does not mean that the students are interested in healthy lives and they would buy healthy food or health-related products for their ones. It is likely that many number of students are imposed to participate in the program, even if they are willing to participate in the program, as I mentioned above, regular exercise does not means that students are higly concerned with their health.
In summary, the author’s assumptions are quite unconvincing in many grounds. The number of people who exercise, the increased number of health club members and the students who participate in a regular exercise program cannot be generalized as they are interested in healty lives, It is too reckless for the author to judge that those can increase the profit of their health stores, the author should investigate more on interests about healthy lives in Plainsville through more detail assumtions and evidences.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: According to the memorandum the author argues that Health Naturally should expand chain of stores in Plainville which residents are higly concerned with healthy lives, since their previous stores has been most profitable in areas where residents are higly interested in healthy lives.
Error: higly Suggestion: highly
Sentence: The increased health club member is due to the resuscitation of the economy not becauses of the their increased health interests.
Error: becauses Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: resuscitation Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: It is likely that many number of students are imposed to participate in the program, even if they are willing to participate in the program, as I mentioned above, regular exercise does not means that students are higly concerned with their health.
Error: higly Suggestion: highly
Sentence: The number of people who exercise, the increased number of health club members and the students who participate in a regular exercise program cannot be generalized as they are interested in healty lives, It is too reckless for the author to judge that those can increase the profit of their health stores, the author should investigate more on interests about healthy lives in Plainsville through more detail assumtions and evidences.
Error: assumtions Suggestion: assumptions
Error: healty Suggestion: health
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 408 350
No. of Characters: 2103 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.494 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.154 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.653 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.329 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.405 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.634 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.134 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 264, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...xercise are interested in healthy life, also. It is plausible that people are intere...
^^^^
Line 5, column 214, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'their'?
Suggestion: the; their
...citation of the economy not becauses of the their increased health interests. It is plaus...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 224, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: 'many numbers'.
Suggestion: many numbers
...ducts for their ones. It is likely that many number of students are imposed to participate ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 395, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'mean'
Suggestion: mean
...tioned above, regular exercise does not means that students are higly concerned with ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 336, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this can' or 'those cans'?
Suggestion: this can; those cans
...o reckless for the author to judge that those can increase the profit of their health sto...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, third, thus, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 16.3942115768 18% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2168.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 408.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3137254902 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79234549925 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.414215686275 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 659.7 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 94.5552424647 57.8364921388 163% => OK
Chars per sentence: 154.857142857 119.503703932 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.1428571429 23.324526521 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.71428571429 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.155487965808 0.218282227539 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0618222367747 0.0743258471296 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0579064189763 0.0701772020484 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10740452866 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0557809066115 0.0628817314937 89% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.2 14.3799401198 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.11 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.