The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author has stated four reasons for the parents who consider to enroll their child in music lessons in joining 'The Mozart School of Music'. He stated that the school should be the parents first choice. He has argued his point by providing four reasons with several holes and unstated assumptions. For the parents to consider his recommendation, the following three questions must be answered.
First of all, Do the Mozart graduates who became well-known and highly paid musicians really leart all their important skills in the Mozart school or they are naturally talented? It is possible that these people have natural talents which helped them achieve the elite status and the effect of their schooling might have played a little role. It is also possible that these people might have get their further schooling elsewhere, which taught them to perform at highest level. If either of the above is true, then the argument used by the author is significantly weakened.
Secondly, Do the lack of audition to attend the school only bring good talents and not bad talents? The audition plays a huge role in knowing the talent of the students and their relevance to study in the particular school. The lack of it means, many undeserving people might join the school and hamper the experience of other students. It also effects negatively to the school, which sees itself as a top most school in music. If the above hold true, then the argument doesn't hold water.
Thirdly, Are there enough distinguished faculty to teach all the students alike with atmost care? It is stated that there are some distinguished faculty working in their school. It is possible that only a few people might have distinguished and remaining are normal faculty who work under their instruction. If the above hold true, then the argument doesn't hold water.
The argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. The author should answer the above questions and give more evidence (perhaps, in the form of a systematic research study) to properly evaluate the viability of the recommendation to join the children in 'The Mozart School of Music.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 365 350
No. of Characters: 1772 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.371 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.855 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.533 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.211 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.756 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.549 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 56, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[3]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'consider enrolling'.
Suggestion: consider enrolling
...stated four reasons for the parents who consider to enroll their child in music lessons in joining...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 393, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'got', 'gotten'.
Suggestion: got; gotten
...o possible that these people might have get their further schooling elsewhere, whic...
^^^
Line 5, column 113, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...alents and not bad talents? The audition plays a huge role in knowing the talent ...
^^
Line 5, column 472, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... the above hold true, then the argument doesnt hold water. Thirdly, Are there enoug...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 351, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... the above hold true, then the argument doesnt hold water. The argument, as it stan...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, well, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1820.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 363.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01377410468 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3649236973 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59829710427 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.498622589532 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 544.5 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.6942438749 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.7894736842 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1052631579 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.57894736842 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.358330012762 0.218282227539 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105171252213 0.0743258471296 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.114400412984 0.0701772020484 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.189430884515 0.128457276422 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0996244577465 0.0628817314937 158% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 98.500998004 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.