The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
In the part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal author discussed about the research had done on effect of cortisol hormone on rhesus monkeys reaction in a particular stimulating situation. The author also explained about effect of cortisol hormone in human’s reactions also. The cortisol hormone is a steroid hormone that regulates wide range of processes throughout the body and very important it helps in body response to stress. The author concluded there major conclusions from studies which are; firstly, firstborn infant monkey produce up to twice as much as hormone in stimulating situation than other younger siblings. Secondly, in humans firstborn human also produce relatively high level of cortisol in stimulating situation. Thirdly; the study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkey had higher level of cortisol than the eldest monkey also produces more cortisol hormone in stimulating situation. There are so many arguments rose on the study on the basis of given information.
The study had done on 18 rhesus monkeys which is very small sample. The author also not explain how many among 18 rhesus monkeys were mother monkey and how many were eldest monkey and also how many were younger siblings? The research will be more accurate and beneficial if the sample is appropriate, otherwise it will not be authentic. We cannot generalize the results that every elder monkey produces twice as much hormones when any unfamiliar monkey encounter the child monkeys.
Furthermore, the author did not mention that the research done on how many humans, and also the stimulating condition was different than the stimulating condition present in front of monkeys. For the human stimulating condition was the role of elder child in absence of parents. It is tendency of humans that they protect their family when they are at the authority place, so we cannot say that the response of the elder child is only due to cortisol hormone, it may due to other situations like rearing practice, personality, etc.
Additionally, the last conclusion of the research was the effect of cortisol hormone during pregnancy on response of elder monkey's response. During first pregnancy the mothers are very conscious and caring about baby and gradually in other second and third pregnancy they get relaxed in compression to first child. So, it may be possibility that due to mother’s responses toward stress situation hereditary transfer to elder baby and the elder baby reflect same response.
Conclusively, On the basis of aforementioned arguments we can say that the research has some loop holes. The research did on the basis of small sample and neglect extraneous variables also, due to which we cannot generalized the findings of the research. The research also did not show consistency of stimulating situations. The arguments explained that research need more work to conclude a generalizable statement
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2421 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.151 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.705 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 141 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 106 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.381 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.403 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.169 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 289, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...tisol hormone in human's reactions also. The cortisol hormone is a steroid horm...
^^^^
Line 1, column 452, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...nt it helps in body response to stress. The author concluded there major conclusion...
^^^
Line 3, column 162, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'were the eldest'.
Suggestion: were the eldest
...monkeys were mother monkey and how many were eldest monkey and also how many were younger s...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 222, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...nd also how many were younger siblings? The research will be more accurate and bene...
^^^
Line 3, column 413, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...at every elder monkey produces twice as much hormones when any unfamiliar monkey enc...
^^^^
Line 5, column 133, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...the stimulating condition was different than the stimulating condition present in fr...
^^^^
Line 5, column 532, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...like rearing practice, personality, etc. Additionally, the last conclusion of the...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 326, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... consistency of stimulating situations. The arguments explained that research need ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, furthermore, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2483.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 470.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.2829787234 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65612321451 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81895623589 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.43829787234 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 785.7 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.4405894189 57.8364921388 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.238095238 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.380952381 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.09523809524 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.150350616372 0.218282227539 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0516597004255 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.054350677214 0.0701772020484 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0743956641592 0.128457276422 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0595894496476 0.0628817314937 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.26 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.